New to this and could use help......

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2005
New to this and could use help......
7
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 9:14pm

Hi-

I just started using match.com a month ago and am new to the online dating scene. I met someone who I emailed back and forth for a couple of weeks and then we started talking on the phone. When we talk we wind up on the phone for 2-3 hours b/c the conversation is so easy. He asked me the other day if I wanted to meet and of course I said yes. Now I am completely freaked!! All of a sudden I keep thinking I should not do this but the flow of our conversations tell me we get along fine.

Did anyone else feel like this?

Where are good first meeting places anyway?

I am really nervous about this but do not want to miss something good either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2004
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 9:24pm
I've been through it too. (Twice, as a matter of fact.) I didn't have an instant click wiht either one of them, but dated both. One I just ended it with and he was a great guy. My only advice, as I'm sure others would give you, is not to put too much expectation into your first meet. He might turn out to be great, but you may have no chemistry in person. He may end up being a good friend then. Both the guys I met lived a distance away. If he's local, why don't you meet at a restaurant with a bar for a drink or a diner for a cup of coffee? Both are public and can be short meets.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 9:45pm

Don't do anything until you've reviewed the Online Dating website:

http://members.tripod.com/cl-jhoover21-ivil/index.html

It's full of useful information to get you started.

I will only caution you to think about your safety at all times. Remember, no matter how nice someone sounds they are still complete strangers, so take care of yourself.

Good luck!
amjay

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 9:47pm

Sure, go ahead and meet. You never know.

I'm sure you're aware of this, but keep safety in mine. Whether you meet someone at a bar or through On-line dating, meet in public and let someone know where you'll be.

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 9:48pm
Are you reading my mind? You just wrote the same thing as I did at the same time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Fri, 12-30-2005 - 11:06am

You bet. I always get a little freaked and somtimes even dread meeting online meets. For me, I just hate the idle chit-chat and all that stuff - it's nerve-wracking! But, we're online to MEET people right? Not to find pen-pals so it's a necessary evil. And I am sure it will be fine. Most likely the worst that would happen is that you spend an hour or so with someone that is nice but you have no chemistry with. What's an hour of your life?

I second what everyone else says - meet in a very public place like a restaurant or coffee place, let someone know where you will be and how long you plan to be gone and drive yourself there. Don't have more than one or so alcoholic drinks if you meet at a bar or restaurant. You don't know him despite all your conversations and it's better to be safe than sorry. All that said, have fun and good luck!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Fri, 12-30-2005 - 11:22am

I will add that it's best to meet during the day in a BUSY public place, and don't let him walk you to your car. Not to be paranoid - just cautious.

I've met several people online, and it's always a little weird to meet in person the first time. But, most of the time it goes pretty well. Just go with the attitude that if you get anything out of the conversation (he's fun to talk to, he gave you a great tip on a new restaurant, you got to wear that cute new top for the first time) then it's worth it. Even if he's not the love of your life, try to find the positive side of the experience.

Most of my friends call this first meet "date zero." It's not technically a first date because you don't know each other. If there's a spark, then you can move to the first date. :)

Have fun, be safe, and good luck.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Fri, 12-30-2005 - 11:40am
Hi,
I always pick safe, public places, not too expensive for that first meeting.I have had lunch, ice cream, or just met for coffee, depending on the location we need. You should always choose familiar surroundings for safety reasons.
As far as being freaked out, you really need to be yourself...otherwise, you'll never know how you feel about each other.
Good luck and have fun.
E