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| Thu, 09-15-2005 - 5:04pm |
A bit of background info about myself. I'm 29 and currently going through a divorce. I was married for 7 years and am the one who initiated the divorce. I have 4 young children with my ex and it's made it difficult to go out to meet men.
I've joined a few online dating sites and have been chatting for a few days with one particular man. I've been very open with him letting him know of my divorce, my children, and my expectations with dating. He says it's all fine with him. If it's fine with him, how come I'm one big ball of nerves? Even though he knows I want more than just sex, do most men expect sex these days?
We will be meeting up tomorrow evening (my ex is taking the kids for the first time since we seperated!!) and my nerves are starting to act up. Anyone have any pointers?

My top piece of advice is to make the meeting a short one for coffee. If it's too late for that, oh well...you'll know next time.
The biggest things are safety concerns...meet him in a public place, don't get into a car with him, don't go to his house or have him come to you, etc.
If you've covered your bases on those issues, then you should focus on keeping your expectations minimal. Think of this as just an opportunity to meet someone new...nothing more.
I'm not sure what you mean by "do most men expect sex these days"...are you asking if they expect it on the first date? And if that's the question, then the answer is no, I haven't found that to be the case, and for the few guys who have had those expectations, good riddance!
Sheri
And that is how I see it when I meet someone. Like, getting together with a friend. Having free time and interact.
Hi, Just checking on things and wanted to welcome you to the board! It's great to greet new people. You'll find women and men here who have extensive online dating experience as well as life experience. The advice is usually honest and wise, so I hope you enjoy it here.
And please, keep us posted on your date! Good luck.
Kerry
I hear you about the nervous part. I hadn't been on a date in 22 yrs when I had my first OLD date. I didn't know what to expect.
I was so excited that this great looking guy wanted to meet me. I tried on like 10 different outfits. You'd hink I was 16 and had never been on a date!
It was lunch and I was so nervous that my hand shook when I picked up my drink! But overall, I thought it went well. The conversation flowed. We had a few laughs. Thought we had a lot in common. When we went out to our cars, I didn't know what to do. How embarassing! Geez, I was 48 and didn't know what to do! He shook my hand and said, "I'll call you. But you can email me if you'd like." He smiled such a great smile.
I thought, "Wow. First meet and it was a success!" WRONG! I never heard from him even though I emailed him to thank him for a nice lunch.
My point is to keep expectations low. Have fun, ceratinly, but don't let your imagination run wild. And do not take it personally if you don't hear from him again. Unfortunately, that happens alot with OLD
And ditto on the safety tips froom Sheri!
And enjoy yourself!
Keep us posted. Good luck!
PS- Re: Men expecting sex. Some do, but not many. But do not feel pressured to do anything you don't feel like. I like to wait unitl we've going out a few months and we're exclusive.
Edited 9/15/2005 8:03 pm ET ET by startingover05
Don't worry so much about his expectations, focus on what your expecations are.