New Contact last night
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New Contact last night
| Wed, 02-16-2005 - 10:09pm |
I was just checking email last night, when an IM popped up.
| Wed, 02-16-2005 - 10:09pm |
I was just checking email last night, when an IM popped up.
>>I feel this could be a problem. Am I being too sticky about this point? It was a major issue with my ex-husband. What do you guys think?
It only matters what you think - because you have to live with it.
HI Linda,
It all sounds good! I have had 2 nice men contact me from Y'hoo Personals ims. I do not pay there, but have a profile and photo, so they can im or email me, and I can read the emails and I can send icebreakers (their 'winks'). Neither man worked out for me; went out with 1 of them, just no chemistry for me there, so I moved on, but we still im, he is a good person. As for the email you sent, I think that was fine, but now you are Done. He can email you or im you. He will ask for your number soon, and then you all can talk. I would not offer the number before he asks for it, IMO.
I read a little artice about how to begin a relationship. One of the Main things it said, was NOT to email the man in the first Month, unless you are responding to an email He sent you! I am Trying to do this now with the one I hope I get to meet soon...Wow, it is hard! But..."they say",so I am giving it a try! Yours was to establish contact, so I think that is ok.
As for the other one, listen to your intuition! If you feel like the money issue would be a problemo, then give it a walk, and roll on!
Best o luck,too!!!! You Will get a date...'Karma, karma, karma'...keep chanting!
Truly,
Cupcake
Hey, good luck with the apparently-normal guy! :)
About the money issue... I'm unclear what you meant when you said:
>>Except that he makes about half what I do. I feel this could be a problem. Am I being too sticky about this point? It was a major issue with my ex-husband.<<
Do you mean that your ex-husband and you argued a lot about money, or that you didn't like that he made very much?
If so, I predict it will still be a problem now and in the future for you, unless/until your own thinking on the issue has changed.
Or did you mean that your ex-husband had a complex about not making enough money? Because if that's the case, then you really have no idea how it's going to be with any new guy, because you're not going to know until you get to know them how they really think/feel about money.
If they've got an issue with it like the ex, then absolutely, it's going to keep coming up. If, on the other hand, they're perfectly content with how much they make (in relation to you) then it probably won't be an issue at all.
Money is a huge trap in relationships, for sure. Fortunately, for the most part it's not something to seriously worry about until we're at that really settling in with someone point.
NGOL,
The main issue with money and my ex was that he had a problem with not being the main bread winner, I think.
I think you're right in saying that it's kind of an issue for a lot of men. Whether we like it or not, our society still sends an implied message to men that they're supposed to be making more money than their women.
I've been there. I lived with a woman who made about half again as much as me. She also had a LOT more schooling than I did, and better schools, too- Ivy League versus state universities.
I was only bothered a little bit by it, but I can totally see how some guys might be bugged a LOT. I think that for me, personally, it wasn't so bad for a couple of reasons. First of all, at that time I still made a lot of money by most normal standards. And for the schooling, once we spent some time together I knew I was at least as smart as she was. :)
It's good that you're thinking about this issue, though; hopefully thinking about it now will aid you if/when it comes up again in the future.
Oh yeah... good call on wanting to find someone quite a bit different than the ex, if the ex was a jerk. :)