New Discussion-Rude First Meets!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
New Discussion-Rude First Meets!
19
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 10:10am
The two posts on the other thread got me thinking... What has been your rudest first meet?
heather 5-18-10

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 04-14-2006 - 5:33pm
Well, not the affair, THAT doenst make me laugh. But the way he SAID it to you. Sheesh
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Fri, 04-14-2006 - 7:20pm

Not OLD, but a blind date in college.

He called me and sounded very nice. Unfortunately, when he picked me up, he appeared to be 15 years old and five feet tall. He told me that our reservation wasn't for another two hours and did I want to have coffee first. Um, hint - pick her up JUST BEFORE dinner.

Anyway, I had to sit through two hours of coffee and another two hours of dinner. ALL he talked about was flying, which is normally fine for me, but I couldn't wrap my mind around this 15 year old looking "man" being a pilot, so I had to try very hard to not smirk all night. He took me to a very expensive restaurant and it was surreal - it was honestly like being on a date with a 15 year old who was trying very hard to impress a 21 year old.

As we left, he asked if I wanted to see a movie! "Sorry - early class tomorrow"

Blech.







iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2004
Fri, 04-14-2006 - 8:08pm

Oh I know, Rebecca, if I hadn't been so shocked, I would have burst out laughing. Here was this little middle-aged gnome of a guy just rocketing with all of his confidence (you'll want me, I'm sure, not a question in my mind). Meanwhile, I'm still getting over the geriatric comfortable shoes he had on.

To make all of it worse, I'm sure his confidence came from his earning power. To Sheri's point, I think men can easily find women attracted to them due to their incomes. But really, their money does not equate our money and in the case of this guy, the money was probably going to Mrs. Gnome.

He was a total creep. Though, sometimes I do wonder, why can't I exude that confidence? I'm no where near as creepy as he is.

Very cute daughter (she's beautiful) and doggies, BTW!

Chick

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Fri, 04-14-2006 - 11:15pm
Hi,
I once met a man who had the table manners of a toddler, and I didn't want to share the pizza after he had touched it. Of course I had some other clues...He 'split' a $10 bill with me right at the register, and commented that my drink didn't GO WITH pizza.....what an idiot. His most prized possesion (at age 41) was a vehicle that his parents gave him (yes, handed down) and he had managed to keep it running for 10 years so far.
It's the only time I really ever considered being gone after he returned from the restroom. I didn't leave, but I didn't touch anything on the table after that. All I could think of was when was the last time he might have washed his hands. eeeeeeewwwwwwwww
E
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Sat, 04-15-2006 - 8:09am
Oh my god that is priceless. ROFL
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2006
Sun, 04-16-2006 - 7:08pm
Hi My name is Kim and I am new to this board. I just had to reply to this discussion. I had a date show up in grudgy jeans, hair not combed, teeth not brushed... ewwwww. When we went out to eat he literally shoveled the food into his mouth and at one point I caught him picking his nose..... Mind you he was 41 and had no manners whatsoever. Kim
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 2:12am

Didja' offer him a TISSUE !?!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2006
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 10:24am

When a first-date brings along her GF or informs me we are meeting company for our first dinner date as we are enroute, I get rude. From that point on, I make it clear that I am being generous without it being my choice.

It is that way with the GF too. I will get comments as to how understanding and gracious I have been and I make it clear that I was without alternatives except "rudeness".

My first dates are always very public so it isn't because the lady needs to feel secure. There are a lot of women who just want a free dinner and then they want one for their friends too. I had one women let the cat out of the bag and I postponed the date and then cancelled it. I was informed that it was a double date and that I needed to find her friend a date.

And I have been unintentionally rude, we all think something is funny and discover the object of our joke is sensitive about something.

What I think is common for all of us is that at some point we meet a person who is exactly the wrong person and both begin pushing buttons.

Here is my trick. I always (now that I know better) make the first date in a very public place and the first dinner date as well. I invite a date for desert or some appetizers along with cocktails at a really good upscale place. I say I am sure we are both busy and that I have to say goodnight at least by 10PM.

On my track, the evening is really just beginning to speed up, so that is the best time for both of us.

But on a dinner date, I make it clear that the invitation is just for dinner because I might not be able to stay out too late, or that I am a designated driver (I am in my case too right?) so I can finish dinner and offer a handshake and be GONE!

Now I am very comfortable to observe her rudeness because I know it is not going beyond the next few hours, and I have all the composure to contain myself from being rude. I try to be a really good date and even navigate through the button-pushing and try to make myself the object of the stupid jokes and even practice enjoying it. In fact I try to be the best date she will ever have, as I know she will never get a guy as good as me and never get another date like it, especially not with ME!

Just the same, there are things that are just rude. Not bad manners, I mean RUDE. But what are they? One always knows the munute it happens and then it is too late.

When I am on these first dates and things work out really well, no one tries to call it quits early. If one of us does and without an explicit arrangement to meet again, or explicit promise to call again, I leave things just at that point. If I get a call and I don't want to date her, I don't offer and I don't accept.

Unfortunately, many here will say that my behavior is rude the way I do things. I never thought so. That leaves my last point: what is rude to some people is just bad manners, or may have been unintentional. And if a strategy is used to protect one's emotions or wallet from those predatory women out there, is may be thought rude by them in their frustration, but that is just their opinion.

A first date is tense and there has to be a chill factor. If I meet a person who brings out my capacity to be rude, I don't date her again or even talk to her again. And if I inspire a person to always treat me rudely, I avoid her too.

When I am on a first date, I want it to be romantic, friendly and ideally include our first sex. If I have not wooed this woman by 10PM it is usually because the chemistry is not their. And when a gal perceives that we are both on to this, OH sh-T doesn't the rudeness start from her end (sometimes) but not necessarily.

Some of the reasons I love women is they are feminine and have a grace that makes we really love the way they handle circumstances. They are not all gracious, but it does not mean they are rude because of it.

The short answer ;) rudeness on the first date means NO SECOND DATE!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 12:20pm
Well, the "personal hygeine" issue I didn't discover right away...and I gave it one more chance to see if maybe it would improve the next time...it didn't.

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