New Guy...What to do??

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
New Guy...What to do??
9
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 8:50am

Hello,

I met just an incredible guy. He is so sweet. Has a wonderful job. Smart, witty. We laughed our first date! I wish all 1st dates could be this easy!

Last week I developed a stomach virus. He sent me the most beautiful bouquet of "Get Well" flowers.

He brought me flowers on our date....A COMPLETE GENTLEMAN.

Now my problem is....Absolutely no chemistry.

I wish to God there was...but there just is not. He is a big guy. That has a lot to do with it. But I have dated big guys before.

Any opinion is most welcomed.

Thanks.

Jodie

 

http://tickers.ticke

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 9:19am
that happened to me last spring. We had great phone conversations, laughed and laughed, had common interests, 1st date went well (he brought flowers and two bottles of wine), he sent a huge bouquet of roses to my office the next week....but zero chemistry. So I told him so and we tried the 'friends' thing for awhile. Didn't work and he faded away.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 9:39am
That happened to me very recently. I finally broke up with him. I had been trying to force myself to feel chemistry and of course that never works. Finally I didn't see the point in wasting any more time; in fact, I let it go on a lot longer than I should've, partly because I dreaded being "out there" again. But once I initiated the "we're not a match" conversation, I felt so relieved, and I know I did the right thing. This happened last week and I rarely think about him. He's a nice guy and he deserves someone who is more into him than I was.
I admit I give these things more time than I used to partly because the pool of single guys my age is so small. When I really want to torture myself I think of all the guys I rejected when I was younger for stupid reasons.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 9:42am

I feel sort of guilty. I wonder if the whole reason I may not be into him is because I am being shallow.

 

http://tickers.ticke

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 9:48am

<

Don't go there, true. This happens to everyone, men and women. "S/he's great but...." It has even happened to me, and I have very low standards !

amjay

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 10:04am
Is this the same guy who made a comment about your pretty friend, or a different guy?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 10:06am
I quit seeing that guy after he made that comment. This is a completely new guy.

 

http://tickers.ticke

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 6:59pm

<

Whatever the reason, you can't force chemistry.

We've all done it -- the great-on-paper, why-can't-I-make-myself-like-him-guy that makes all the hair on the back of your neck stand up when he touches you (I mean that in a "YUCK" way...)

Try to end it sooner rather than later...

Tracy

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 7:13pm

Hi Jodie,

If the chemistry is not there, then you can't force it. And don't feel bad about your preferences, we all have them.

Sunshine

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2005
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 10:50pm
Think of the positives he has. I mean how many guys have brought you flowers and been so caring when you were sick? So what if the chemistry isn't there. You enjoy each others company, you laugh together, you get along fine.
I'm saying this because I am in a similar situation. I met a great guy who brought me yellow roses on our first date. We get along wonderfully, and I really like his sense of humor. He is sweet, romantic, but the one thing is that he is not as handsome as I had hoped. I have overlooked that, though. For now I am very happy with this guy. I prefer him than my ex who never called and never followed through on his promises. This guy is better than other guys I have met. This guy is sensitive and we talk like we've known each other for years.
Sometimes, you just have overlook the little things that bother you and enjoy every moment you have with that person because you don't know if you ever find someone so wonderful.