New to Match.com - query re *winks*

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
New to Match.com - query re *winks*
15
Mon, 07-25-2005 - 2:34pm

Winks. How do you feel about them? Do you respond with an email? with a wink? Ignore all together? Is your answer entirely profile dependent?

They seem so lazy to me - like a guy can just wink away and see who reponds. Does a wink back put the onus back on them? I've been going on a case by case basis but was curious as to what others did. TIA.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2004
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 7:05pm

I hear you.. I’ve been on match just for three weeks, and I feel the same!!! LOL

I’ve paid for three months just because I knew that I’ll be sceptical, jaded and ready to give up after one month. It’s a psychological push. If it's paid, I try harder. It works the same with my gym membership or ski pass. I hate to pay if I’m not taking advantage.

Good luck!

Toria

Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 7:45pm

You know it's funny, but I feel the same way. I'm always sure it won't take me more than a month or two to meet someone and signing up for a whole year does seem pessimistic even if economically astute.

Back in 2002 I joined Match for an entire year. I joined because a relationship I was in had hit some rocks around Month 3. I corresponded with a few guys and met one because I wanted the sense that I could find someone else I guess ... When the first relationship ended I was so depressed for so long that I never wound up using the subscription. So now I only join one month at a time too. In fact, I was on Match from mid-April to mid-May and cancelled because I wasn't wild about the guys I was meeting.

As for winks: they don't bother me (coming or going) and I don't much question why men or women send them. I'm sure each person has their own reasons. The guy I'm currently seeing is someone I winked at. I winked at 18 guys the same night, and he was the only one who responded right away ... That was two months, and two days ago. We're still together ...

Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 10:46pm

Winks are a nice low pressure way to test the waters. If I receive a wink and I'm mildly interested, I'll wink back. If I'm very interested, I might go ahead an send an email IF I'm already a paying member. If I'm sending the first wink, I only send it if I already know I'm interested enough to meet someone, otherwise why bother?

I've had 3 real-life meets through OLD, all of which I winked first and emailed when I received a wink back.

Re Yahoo IMs... yes that's true, a paying member can see YOUR id whether you pay or not. But those who use IM instead of email (for whatever odd reason) seem to be more flaky or horny or psycho. Just a tendency, not a rule.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2004
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 5:09am

to me...winks are too passive. I want a man who can express himself. i am traditional in the pursue/pursued-male/female roles...i don't want a man who can't pursue with confidence...not into submissive male personality...this of course speaks to my own insecurities as well as i need an aggressive man for more reassurance and also addresses my need for seeing a man's mentality in how he expresses himself.

Of course this cuts my odds down quite a bit...so in a sense shooting myself in the foot...but I am a defensive dater lol I do not give winking much credibility but after reading the posts...i may be rethinking (currently i am ending my match subscription as nothing has produced a IRL meeting ...no one compatible seems to come from my own town, and ive met a new interest through a chat room that has my effort/attention right now).

Lizzie




Edited 7/27/2005 5:31 am ET ET by lizzie1965
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 9:09am

When I was first thinking of doing OLD, someone advised me to sign up for a year. The reason I didn't? I thought, there's no way it will take me that long to find someone. HA!! I signed up for 3 months and I've been letting it autorenew every 3 months. I'm seeing someone right now but my profile is hidden, not deleted, because who knows? I could be back on there any day now.

The only reason I wouldn't sign up for a year is I've heard complaints about match's billing practices where even when people cancel, they still get billed. I'd be really mad if they charged my credit card for another whole year when I had cancelled. I'd be mad if they did it for 3 months too, but at least it would be less money to fight them about.

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