New to old...need advice
Find a Conversation
New to old...need advice
| Mon, 07-31-2006 - 3:49am |
I am not yet divorced but almost a year seperated and hoping the divorce will end before the end of this year. Was with ex for 18 yrs, Ex is making things very difficult. I wanted to be divorced b/f meeting people but feel I am finally feel ready to live life again and have fun. Just not sure about this whole old thing. I signed on match and have gotten a lot of responses from guys I think I'd like to meet.
However, I am so cautious and have to be b/c I have a beautiful little girl that I don't want to be a part of any of this until I meet someone I feel will be longterm. Right now, I just want to meet different people because I didn't date a lot before and I feel this is a second chance to do all the things I didn't before. Because of the whole old thing, and just got out of a relationship with a con man (so-called husband that cheated, lied, lied and more lies) that I am really wary of everyone. Just wanted to know what kind of advice all the pros that have been doing this would suggest to a newcomer. I am talking with this guy that seems like he'd be fun and we've been flirting but he wants to meet at night the first time and I don't feel comfortable with that just yet. I am not looking for a casual, one night stand, however not looking for a soul-mate either but you know, I feel this wild woman ready to unleash b/c it is lonely and don't want to rush into anything. How many times should you go out before going to his house or bringing him to mine. Any advice at all about this online dating would be greatly appreciated.
Edited 7/31/2006 11:19 am ET by alise38
However, I am so cautious and have to be b/c I have a beautiful little girl that I don't want to be a part of any of this until I meet someone I feel will be longterm. Right now, I just want to meet different people because I didn't date a lot before and I feel this is a second chance to do all the things I didn't before. Because of the whole old thing, and just got out of a relationship with a con man (so-called husband that cheated, lied, lied and more lies) that I am really wary of everyone. Just wanted to know what kind of advice all the pros that have been doing this would suggest to a newcomer. I am talking with this guy that seems like he'd be fun and we've been flirting but he wants to meet at night the first time and I don't feel comfortable with that just yet. I am not looking for a casual, one night stand, however not looking for a soul-mate either but you know, I feel this wild woman ready to unleash b/c it is lonely and don't want to rush into anything. How many times should you go out before going to his house or bringing him to mine. Any advice at all about this online dating would be greatly appreciated.
Edited 7/31/2006 11:19 am ET by alise38

Welcome to the board. I'd pass on the guy who wants to meet at night (unless he has a schedule that makes it completely impossible to meet during the day on the weekends). Your best bet is to meet new guys during the day for coffee, in a public place.
I would also beware of talking/emailing with someone for too long before meeting. For me, exchanging a handful of emails, talking on the phone once for about 15 minutes or so and then meeting for coffee is about right. In my experience, spending too much time talking before you meet in person creates weird, unrealistic expectations and usually leads to disappointment.
I generally wouldn't bring someone to my place until I've been dating them regularly (1-2 times a week) for a good month, sometimes longer. Oh, and I mean invite them in for coffee and maybe a little making out, not sex ;-). I don't invite them in earlier because I don't want them to get the wrong idea, or create a situation where I might go further than I am really ready to.
Sheri