This is a new one

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
This is a new one
9
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 6:22am

Good morning...

I just a strange question. On Match a guy winked at me, and I winked back. Then he wrote me an email. Anyway, I have two photos on match, one a little older one (about three years), one very recent (the main photo). This guy asked who the person in the second picture is...well, of course it's me...I'm feeling a tad insulted...is that wrong? What do I say to him? That it's my evil twin?

Robyn

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 7:37am
What an a$$wipe. He obviously meant it as an insult and knew that it was you. Gosh, I know our motto is just to NEXT! em and block em, but man, I sure hope someone here has a fantabulous comeback. Where's LG? He *always* has some great ones....
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 8:07am
If your photo is 3 years old maybe it's not such a strange question. Why go off the deep end? Just tell him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 10:13am
I agree, don't go all nutso and dump him b/c of that. If it is 3 years old, maybe it is an honest question. Does your hair look different (length, color, etc) or is there something else that seems considerably differen? Guys may be visual creatures but things like that can throw them too. Tell him that it is an older picture of you and then ask him why he asked. If he seems nice enough otherwise, then don't ditch him b/c of one careless comment.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 7:55pm

Um, we're all so used to our own features that we forget how we might look differently to people sometimes. A different angle, different lighting, a few years, and two pictures of the same person might totally look like two different people to someone who doesn't know us.

You shouldn't feel "insulted"- this poor guy doesn't know you from Adam. I've personally asked women before "all all those pictures of you, because the second (or third or fifth or whatever) looks different!?"

Just send him an email saying "that's me!" and don't make a big deal about it. Odds are he'll be a bit embarrassed or something and it won't be any big deal and you'll move on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 7:56pm

Why is it obviously an insult? The guy winked at her and then took the time to email her, and plainly looked at her profile a bit.

I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt, at least until they send you a picture of their penis or something. Give this guy a break! Sheesh!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2004
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 8:16pm

I look different in all my pictures-mostly it's the hair.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 10:29pm

Thanks for the replies! I wrote him back and told him the old picture was me...along with other stuff, of course. Anyway, I just got his reply and he said he liked my recent picture...yikes, guess he didn't like the old one. Anyway, I got a kick out of that reply, and I appreciate the advice you all gave!

Robyn

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Tue, 03-15-2005 - 12:18am

>>Anyway, I just got his reply and he said he liked my recent picture...yikes, guess he didn't like the old one.<<

Sigh...

Why, oh why, do women so continually insist on reading things (that aren't there) into communication?

Listen, ladies. Guys, as a bunch, we're stupid. As a general rule, we don't have little secret hidden messages in everything we say and/or don't say.

If a guy sends you a note that says "Gosh, I really like that last picture," it does NOT mean "I don't like any of the other pictures". It just means that gosh, he really likes that last picture. That's ALL.

Remember, he's a guy, therefore, a moron when it comes to hidden messages. ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Tue, 03-15-2005 - 2:38am

a better question. why oh why can't men understand we think more than them, and adjust THEIR comments to us women ;)??? seriously. Alot of times women tend to have to figure out men's comments rather than the men adjusting their comments for us. I have a huge problem with this. But understand it'll never happen that a man adjusts himself for women (only talking about this situation)

I have met men who can do this and its refreshing. Some men aren't that intelligent in that dept yet. E.g. Women Speak Language!

for the Orig Poster - I think that the guy should have said what a great picture (recent one) and left it at that. Not I like this one better. It is insulting and quite honestly I would drop this dude if I were in your place. Men should be respectful and cordial in the beginning. When you two have gotten to know each other, then the open/honesty can come out. You deserve the best, dont settle for less! Really. Its been 3 years since Ive had a relationship - alot of ups/downs, but I've always stuck to my guns of deserving the best... and I'm happy I did.