New to online dating advice please...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2005
New to online dating advice please...
23
Fri, 02-11-2005 - 7:42pm

Hi everyone. Just checking in, hoping to learn from all of you. 2 big questions first, what service do you use? Trying to figure out which ones are better. Second, and I have been debating this with friends of mine. What would you consider to be the definitions of "Full Figured" and "Big and Beautiful"???

Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 11:45am

I look at OLD as Fantasy Island. A Man looks at the questionnaire and immediately thinks, "gee I can get anything I want on here!" and so picks and chooses those attributes he idealizes and hasn't a hope of getting in real life. He isn't thinking about LTR but of all the attention he is going to receive from the multitude of tiny female persons out there who are waiting for his email.

To maybe be a little nicer about it (I'm in a good mood), without OLD sites, these same men would most likely choose a partner with the qualities we all like: brains, nice looks, humour and a positive outlook on life.

Edited to answer your question, abm: we are NOT undesirable, because we SAY we are not! I refuse to allow a small percentage of the human race form my self-opinion.




Edited 2/13/2005 11:48 am ET ET by amjay45
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2003
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 1:12pm

Well, amjay, I appreciate your pep talk, but I sure FEEL that way. To put it bluntly, I feel like a pariah.

My 49th birthday was yesterday and I am so depressed, I've barely gotten out of bed for 2 days and I haven't eaten anything since Friday night (which is not a bad thing). If I didn't have to go to work tomorrow (should have taken the day off, so I don't have to see the parade of flowers coming into the office and know that none of them are for me) I'd stay in bed all day too.

ABM

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 1:21pm
Could you please email me through my profile?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 1:33pm

Thank you, amjay!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2003
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 1:48pm

Thanks Stacey. I'm afraid your opinion of me isn't shared by the general population. But, I'll get over it in a week or so.

Thanks...ABM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 4:17pm

This is a good book for anyone looking to improve in 2005. I got the CD as well and it's great to listen to while in the shower or driving.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0060594888/ref=pd_ts_b_7/103-0861941-0869408?v=glance&s=books&n=4736

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 6:08pm

>>I want proof! What's your match username? I dare you to put it on here.<<

LOL Proof that I'm *not* a hardbody? That's a new one! :)

I'll pass on the dare. Call me a chicken if you will. ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 11:00pm

Hi Y'all,

Well, I can tell you that I think the Reason so much of America is overweight is BECAUSE there is such a diet craze out there! "DIET" is a 4 letter word. The media IS to blame--we all know that if they suddenly said it is So Tres Cool to be 45 pounds overweight, then Jennifer Anniston would be Parked at the Dairy Queen drive-thru! What we NEED to do is find a way to take the media Down a notch in the public eye...but easier said than done!

Again, I am a health coach/trainer...17% bodyfat BMI, wear a size one...or less, abs and buns of steel, yes, and I AM 48...but not EVERYONE's body has the capability to 'go there', and that is a fact,jack! Hate me yet? Well, DON'T, because OLD has been NO more successful for me, than it has been for many women who outweight me by 100 pounds! I also have a sweet/nurturing personality and I am intelligent and funny....go figure...that must translate in "man-ese" to: "Try to get her in bed, and if she won't go, then don't call again".

But, ya know what, I AM happy with ME, and honey, that is ALL that really matters..it is what I can do for those I love and like, that brings me Joy on a daily basis...oh, yeah, and a Snickers now and then, too! :)

Truly,
Cupcake

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Wed, 02-16-2005 - 1:04am

>>Well, I can tell you that I think the Reason so much of America is overweight is BECAUSE there is such a diet craze out there! "DIET" is a 4 letter word. The media IS to blame...<<

I'm not following you here. Because the media says we should be thin and diet, we're fat... but if they were to say we should be fat, then Jennifer Aniston would be? (mmm, Jennifer Aniston...)

Seriously... I don't think the media is the problem. Remember, they put out what sells- there's a reason the national news isn't continually covering stories like the genocide in Africa, or avian flu in Asia, or things that people don't care about.

The problem is that as a society, we simply haven't made it enough of a priority to get healthy. Not thin, but HEALTHY. And this isn't just the folks who are big; it's everyone.

It starts at a young age, in the schools- do you know what kind of crap is available to kids? Pop, high fat foods, junk junk junk. And even if you don't have kids, you pay taxes that go to those schools, or you pay rent to someone who owns the property and pays taxes. We are all partially responsible in some way.

We worship the automobile, we build pedestrian-unfriendly cities, sidewalks are an afterthought, we snarf down Super-Sized meals and we've given up moving around for non-physical things like TV or.... typing rants like this one, online. :)

You're absolutely right that some people are never going to be an Arnold or Jennifer Aniston, but that's not a reason to give up, either. I'm not going to turn into Matt Damon, but I don't have to be a big guy, either.

The media did not make me order those fries SuperSized, and the media certainly didn't make me eat all those brownies last night! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Wed, 02-16-2005 - 9:11am

Another big part of the problem is that kids don't get out like they used to - they play games on the computer, X Box, Playstation or what-have-you.

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