New to online dating and this board

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
New to online dating and this board
2
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 10:07am

Hello


I'm new to this board but not new to ivillage.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 10:53am

Yes, at this stage, it is perfectly fine and in fact a good idea to not get too serious about one person and to see more than one guy. However, IMO, it's not a good idea to TELL the men about it unless asked specifically if you are seeing others. IMO, it's a little tacky. I usually assume that guys I am meeting are seeing others as well and since we are not exclusive, we are both perfectly within our right to see other people until we discuss exclusivity.

When it becomes NOT OK is when you and one guy are ready to become exclusive and have a talk about it and also IMO when you are ready to become intimate. I personally don't want to be sleeping with someone and dating others and I don't want him dating others either. I would become exclusive before sleeping with someone at this point.

Since your first guy is going to be unavailable for 3 weeks while the Olympics are going on (are you serious on that one? - you guys really are not going out until the Olympics are over? Surely there is some event like luge or curling that neither of you wants to watch and you can plan something! ;-)) anyway, I digress... :-) since you will not see him for 3 weeks, definitely meet up with the other guy.

That all said, be careful on 2 counts:

1) Getting so serious so quickly with guy #1. Talking on the phone and emailing daily at this stage (after 2 dates) is a little serious. Take some time to get to know each other and get to know others as well. You just got back into the dating scene. No reason to rush things.

2) The OOT guy. Long-Distance Relationships (LDRs) are tough. He lives 2 hours away and trying to get to know someone and start something with someone who lives a long way away puts a strain on an early relationship. If things get serious, you have to think about logistics and spending time together and eventually someone moving. Although that puts the cart before the horse, it's something you want to think about early on if it's something you're willing to take on.

Best of luck to you and good for you for getting back out there!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 12:16pm

Yes, it's perfectly ok to be dating more than one person so long as you haven't made any commitment to be exclusive with any one person, but talking about it (unless you are specifically asked) is a big no-no, IMO. I always assume that guys are dating other people until we agree to exclusivity, but I don't want to HEAR about it, ya know ;-)?

I'm in agreement with Vexer as to having the exclusivity talk before you sleep with someone.

Sheri