New to online dating

Avatar for annrue
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
New to online dating
20
Mon, 12-13-2010 - 8:42pm

I have dabbled with Match before but I have just joined again and determined that this time, I refuse to give up so easy. But lordy it is hard.

First, how is it that some guys who contact me are lovely and nice, and some guys are horribly wrong -- just wrong.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 01-13-2011 - 11:57am

I like the ones who have boats since I like boating & we live near the water, until I remind myself that it's winter & we won't be able to do any boating for 6 months, so what good is that?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Wed, 01-12-2011 - 8:57pm

One guy who contacted me is holding up two huge fish in his photo with his hands in their mouths.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Wed, 01-12-2011 - 6:05pm

I also grow weary of the photos of the "toys", i.e., the motorcycle, boat, beamer.

Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Wed, 01-12-2011 - 9:29am

I think men are probably guilty of this more than women, but they will engage in mass mailings, I guess thats the best way to describe it. Go through and send out emails to a bunch of women that they find attractive. Maybe not worrying much about if that womans interests in any way match his, etc. I guess you could equate it to spamming. They can send out their spam message to thousands of addresses and if they even get just a few suckers to respond with money, then it was worth their time. Another good way to term it might be shotgun dating. Anyway that could explain the array of men you are seeing contacting you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
Tue, 01-11-2011 - 8:49pm

Hey walker, i'm a member of the same bbpeople website ad I agree that it's good. I met a lot of decent guys on there and one that i really connect with that i talk to now.

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Wed, 12-22-2010 - 6:45am

Ain't it the truth? I know some women have equally stupid profiles up, but it never ceases to amaze me what men will write/post. I recently heard from a guy (who lives too far away), who ended his profile with something like, "[Regarding a relationship] I have already experienced perfection and I want that again." He's not widowed, either. Why say that? His profile was good up until that point. It's like the time I talked to a guy on the phone that I had "met" through Match, and he told me about a woman he had gone out with for a year that he met off of Match who had a perfect body. This guy was a jerk anyway and I never met him, but WTF?

I work in advertising, so I know how important it is to get your message across quickly and convincingly. And as an art director, I know how critical imagery is. I know most people aren't good writers and photographers, but can we at least string a sentence together without typos and cliches?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Tue, 12-21-2010 - 10:25pm

Speaking of serial killers, I had one on ok cupid that I really didn't want to go out with but my friends talked me into it cause they said I needed the practice.

Avatar for annrue
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 12-21-2010 - 9:09pm

I wish sometimes I could just contact them and give them advice on their profile.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 12-21-2010 - 11:12am

I'm laughing about the serial killer one--I know what you mean.

Avatar for annrue
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 12-20-2010 - 8:03pm

Glad I could help. :) But I have suspected for a while now that Match and the other service may, somehow, drum up business when you first join. Or to get you to join. Perhaps they put you on the highlighted section or something. I jointed bbmeetpeople last week (free) and I have 21 e-mails. Of course, I can't see any of them. I bet if I joined I would find 1/2 of them totally wrong for me (from people accross the US) or otherwise and then traffic would slow down.

But I do agree it is Christmas week. That can't be good especially for guys that do most of their shopping the last week.

I have a really hard time finding guys to wink at. I don't think I am too good for them but I find 3 general problems (1) I can't see them in any of their 20 photos, (2) they say something in their profile which makes me think they are a bad fit for me and (3) if they do have easily seen photos they are too negative, ie they make the person look like a serial killer. For the 40 winks in the week I Probably saw about 100 profiles. I wink if they meet the three broad general criteria, reverse the above, and go from there.

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