Newbie looking for advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2003
Newbie looking for advice
4
Sun, 08-27-2006 - 3:22pm

Hi everyone,

I am a single mother of an 11 month old. Some history: my ex and I broke up right around the time I learned I was pregnant. We have gone through the healing process and are now on the otherside where we are on friendly terms but accept that there is no future. He is very involved with his son but now lives in another state. I have not been on a date with someone new in well over 3yrs so I am out of practice and with a new status, single mom.

Two weeks ago I joined Match.com. Surprisingly, I received hundreds of emails within a few days. Great ego boost but 95% were completely out of the scope of my search(age,interests,stats). There are a few that I am emailing but am still on the fence about. I did, however, initiate contact with one guy. His profile matched exactly to what I am looking for in a man. We began corresponding and his emails showed genuine interest in getting to know me. (real questions not just small talk) He also sent me all of his personal and professional contact information so I knew he was legit. Sounds good right! Well, the week we were suppose to meet, I got an email that he just got promoted and would be moving. He said he realized that this would hurt our chances for anything lasting and he did not want to waste my time. Ok...seems like a polite retreat right??? I congratulated him on his promotion and let him know that I really enjoyed talking with him and it was a shame we would never get to actually meet but I wished him well. That was Thursday. Today I got an email that he is getting ready for his new postion and again did not want to mislead me but if I still wanted to meet for lunch we could get together in a few weeks.

So do I take a chance a meet him and at least get a date under my belt? Do I just let it go? I mean who is to say there would be any chemistry and we already know the timing sucks if there is but will I regret more not going or going? Any advice from experienced ladies would be greatly appreciated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 10:21am
I say "Why not".

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 3:35pm

I agree with Rebecca. Why not? :)

Jennifer

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 4:15pm

I understand that eventually he will be moving out of state; but why will it take him a "few weeks" to make a lunch date w/you?? I'm super critical and although he stated in his previous email that he has a new job promotion that will be moving him out of state and he didn't want to waste your time; it's odd that he would write back and state that he is interested in doing lunch in a "few weeks!" Seems as if he may be straddling the fence about this job (was he interviewing at other places?) or BSing you (I told you I'm super critical). (smile)

I would say, keep your options open and see if you guys can set that lunch date sooner rather than later. Considering he said "in a few weeks" I'm just not sure about his interest level. I assume you guys will still be in contact via telephone; but there is no need in increasing the telephone chemistry only to be disappointed when you meet in person; especially since he may be leaving the state.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2003
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 7:31pm
That is what seemed odd to me but after re-reading the email I realize that I read it incorrectly the first time. He starts his new job in a few weeks so is available now to meet for lunch. I wish I had understood this better before sending my response becasue now I feel a bit stupid. In my response I rambled on about not having high expectations and that I was unsure of his interest level but we could meet if he really wanted to meet me. I wouldn't be surprised if he blew me off and I just have to chalk this one up to a learning lesson. (Hey it was my first attempt) I did give him my number and suggested that conversation may go more smoothly if we talk. So we will see how this goes. Wow...so this is the dating world I am both excited and scared and obviously clueless.