Newbie question

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2005
Newbie question
7
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 6:57pm

Hi.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
In reply to: chalicat
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 7:05pm

I've never subscribed to eHarmony, but I have done online dating through other sites. No, you do not have to talk to just one guy.

I don't recommend trying to juggle dozens of men, but there's no harm in going out on several first dates just to see who you like. During those initial e-mails especially it's definitely all right to correspond with more than one person. Most of the men will be doing that as well - comes with the territory.

Enjoy it and keep us posted on how it goes. :)

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: chalicat
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 9:33pm

Good grief, hon, no! ;-) Yes, don't communicate with so many you can't keep them straight, but at this early stage, it is not only acceptable but a good idea to communicate with more than one. People ghost (vanish without a trace), change their minds, decide you're not "the one", meet other people, dozens of things all the time on OLD so it is best to keep your options open. OLD is a numbers game that the more people you chat with, the better chance you have of meeting someone comptible.

It can get overwhelming - I put an ad on Craigs List and am now emailing a TON of guys. I need to start weeding through but honestly, I have 4 or 5 that are quite interesting and attractive. I'm also communicating with 3 guys on eHarmony. But definitely communicate with a few at a time - just keep the details straight! Good luck with OLD!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2005
In reply to: chalicat
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 1:35pm

Thanks for the advice.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2005
In reply to: chalicat
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 1:38pm

Thank you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
In reply to: chalicat
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 1:41pm
No rule. Have at it. Guy number one might not work out so the more the merrier.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: chalicat
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 2:37pm

I'm just trying to figure out now what to do about a guy who requests communication on eHarmony, but whom I don't think I really want to talk to.


If you're not interested, just close him. You're never "required" to talk to anyone, ya know! ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: chalicat
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 3:19pm

If you are not sure you want to talk to them, you should probably just close them. There's no point in getting to a further point down the road with a guy on eH and then closing them. For me, if a guy doesn't have a pic, he goes immediately on hold. Of if a guy doesn't do it for me but requests communication, sometimes I'll go ahead with it, but usually I close them. You don't need to feel bad about closing them if you're not interested. It's a lot kinder to do it early on than to go through the process.

I went through a period where I was giving all guys from there "a chance". BAD move! I found that I resented them if I wasn't all that excited about them in the first place and I usually didn't get more excited.

OLD is both interesting and frustrating but your best bet is to go at it with a relatively open mind, a willingness to communicate with several at one time and good enough self-esteem to not take it personally when guys ghost, close you or decide that you're not a match. Have fun!

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