Nice guy VS. Bad Boy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2005
Nice guy VS. Bad Boy?
15
Thu, 10-13-2005 - 7:00pm

Hey newbie here! Just wanted to thank everyone for sharing your stories of OLD..I had
no idea that message boards existed on this topic. I tried OLD about a year ago and quit
with no success (mostly due to the fact that they were mismatches from the start and I ignored the red flags so I'll take the blame for that).

Anyways,I have a question.
Would any of you ladies date outside of your prefered type?
I have a tendency to date the fast/good-looking/sexy types but it always leaves me
in heartache and disappointment.
I'm getting a few e-mails from guys that make $$$, share similar morals and values
as me, share common interests, same culture...but are 5 years older than I specified
in my age range AND are the geeky/nice/boy next door types...

Should I just let go of my fantasy of the "fast types" and settle for the nice guy or
go ahead and find that perfect rare combo of the bad-boy/yet sweet boy type?
WWYD?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 10-13-2005 - 7:32pm

Welcome! :)
Ya know, I have always been attracted to more than one type of guy. I like a nice guy and sometimes I like the bad boys a little too....but the bad boys seem to leave us wanting more and getting a lot less, I think. ACK!

Sara

 
Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Thu, 10-13-2005 - 7:58pm

Well, my particular type seems to be the nice guy, which has not worked for me. So, maybe I do need the bad boy, who knows.

My best friend always went for the bad boy. Then I found her a guy on Match who LOOKED like a bad boy, but was a nice guy on the inside. They're married with a year old son now. I'm a great matchmaker for others but can't find anyone for me.

Maybe I should go for the Colin Farrell bad boy type & stay away from the Ross Gellers of the world.

:)

Annie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2005
Thu, 10-13-2005 - 8:16pm
I can't speak to the bad boy vs. good boy thing because I've always been drawn to the good boys. (They don't always turn out to be good, however, but that's a different post!) What I will say is that I definitely have my preferred guidelines - age, height, income, etc. BUT, I think it's wise to be open to new possibilities as well. If they have some of the qualities you're looking for but not all, you might consider meeting for a quick drink or coffee. You never know. Twice I've had someone contact me that I never would have contacted myself. Both times I ended up really liking them. The first one ghosted on me after the first date but the second one I'm having date #3 with on Saturday. When I first met him I thought, "no way" - He's A LOT older than I am but, I really like him and enjoy myself when I'm with him. So... who knows? Sometimes the ones you least expect are the ones that end up sweeping you off your feet! ;-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2005
Thu, 10-13-2005 - 8:29pm

Completely agree with your last line. The best relationships in my life were ones where I thought the guy was so not for me. I thought they were dorks at first, couldn't see myself with them, blah blah blah. Good thing they were persistent. Or I'd never know what love is.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2005
Thu, 10-13-2005 - 8:31pm

Hi and welcome...if you don't want to date those geeky guys with $$, could you please send them to me???

all kidding aside, I've always wondered if I should give up on my "good on paper" profile searches which are getting me nowhere, and date a hot construction worker!! Actually, at this point....who the heck knows what my type is anyway??

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2005
Thu, 10-13-2005 - 8:36pm
P.S...this is a really refreshing & eye-opening thread...I might make some changes on my next Match search...
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Thu, 10-13-2005 - 9:15pm

Hi mcsushi,


Welcome to the board--I hope you find your stay here pleasant. You'll find a lot of wonderful people here, both men and women with such great ranges of experience. I'm sure you will find a lot of help here and when you're comfortable, share your help as well.


I just wanted to jump in to say hi. Please, make yourself welcome here. See you around!


Cheers!


Kerry


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2005
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 2:03pm

Thank you ladies, for the warm welcome and responses to my thread.
Well, I guess maybe I shoud've gave an brief intro. Single, no kids,
in my 20's, never been married, BA degree, attractive and in good shape...
I'm not perfect but I do prefer a man that makes more money than me, is
easy on the eyes (doesn't have to be drop dead gorgeous), is nice,
either divorced no children or had a kid but has never been married (I'll take one
or the other, not both).
The guy that I am taking "notice" in is 42 and divorced, makes more than $150,000 (so he says), has no children... but I'm a little
leery about the age and the fact that he doesn't share the same religion as me.
He appears to be "marriage" minded or looking for a long-term rlp. so that's a good sign
(But of course, don't all guys appear that way ;)

It's so hard to find that "perfect" match, lol.
Well I e-mailed him and he responded back to me so we'll see what happens....I'll take it slow and start off as friends if things go well....

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 3:04pm
I would say give the nice guys a chance, however a 20 year age difference is a bit too much. You're from different generations and your differences will eventually catch up with you. I would look at the thirty something year old guys, and leave it at that. Sometimes the 40something guys like young girls because they think they can cotrol and manipulate them better than older women who will see through their bs. How do I know this, well gf, I was once a 20something yo and 40something guys used to hit on me too for all the wrong reasons. You're younger than my own daughter, and I give her the very same advice, also you girls are young, why tie yourselves down with older guys baggage(they will have it). Me and my daughter have an agreement, she won't date older than 35, and I won't date younger than 38. Keeps things from getting uncomfortable.
The T Girl
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2005
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 3:17pm

if you are late 20's and he is a "young" 42 then it might work. But I would really wonder why he has never been married at 42. I am 32 dating a 38 that has never been married. Trust me that was the first topic I explored. Even at 38 and not married he is set in his ways and has quirks. (not all of them bad....some are really quite nice.)

If you are early to mid 20s then I would seriously wonder why he is dating someone that much younger. At 42 the youngest I would think he should date is 28. (half his age plus 7)

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