Nice guy VS. Bad Boy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2005
Nice guy VS. Bad Boy?
15
Thu, 10-13-2005 - 7:00pm

Hey newbie here! Just wanted to thank everyone for sharing your stories of OLD..I had
no idea that message boards existed on this topic. I tried OLD about a year ago and quit
with no success (mostly due to the fact that they were mismatches from the start and I ignored the red flags so I'll take the blame for that).

Anyways,I have a question.
Would any of you ladies date outside of your prefered type?
I have a tendency to date the fast/good-looking/sexy types but it always leaves me
in heartache and disappointment.
I'm getting a few e-mails from guys that make $$$, share similar morals and values
as me, share common interests, same culture...but are 5 years older than I specified
in my age range AND are the geeky/nice/boy next door types...

Should I just let go of my fantasy of the "fast types" and settle for the nice guy or
go ahead and find that perfect rare combo of the bad-boy/yet sweet boy type?
WWYD?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 3:33pm

<or the other, not both). >>

This is interesting. What's your thinking?

amjay

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2005
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 4:24pm

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Oh he's divorced, just does not have children. I think if his profile said "42, never been
married, no children then I would raise an eyebrow and wonder...hmmm why??

<>

I am 28 and he's 42...but I don't know him, and yes he might not be a "young" 42 (what I'm worried about). Well see what happens.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2005
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 4:32pm

<or the other, not both). >>

<>

Oh just my preference that's all. Since I've never been married and I have no children I would prefer my date to be on the same wavelength as me (but of course I realize the older people get, the chances of finding that is slim to none).
So if they were once married and have no kids, OR if they have a kid but were never married, I can handle one or the other. I've dated men w/kids before, my ex had 2 kids, but he was never married. Just my personal preference :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2005
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 4:51pm

In my limited experience, if a man has not been married or at least in a long term relationship by mid to late thirtys then its a red flag, that deserves some time spent looking at it.

For example, my oldest brother is 46 and has never been married. He was engaged around age 28-30ish, but he had issues with anger control that he never resolved. I don't think he would ever admit that played a part in the break up but I think it did. He was then in a LTR with a different gal when he was around age 40. He refused to marry her--he put a ring on her finger but would not make it legal, by that time, he was very bitter towards the idea of marriage. He has been single again for the last 2-3 years. He has a very jaded look at relationships, and has emotional avaiablity problems.

Ever heard the saying all the good ones are taken? Well there is a reason SOME of the time that a man is not taken.....I am not saying that all men who are over 35-45 and not married have issues....but I would look to see if they "married" something else. Ie Work, alcohol, stress...At 42 if your guy had not been married, I would investigate why. Just like my guy investigated why after 10 years of marriage I filed for divorce....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 5:34pm
It's funny, but up until the age of 34 (when I became pregnant) I never dated guys who had children and always seem to meet them! Now I'm meeting men with 4+ children -- eeeww!!!

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