No decent hits...what's wrong with me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
No decent hits...what's wrong with me?
8
Sun, 09-04-2005 - 2:38pm

I've been signed up on Match.com since March,and in all, have met, in person, 5 people. All but one were one-dates, there just wasn't any chemistry. The other one has turned into a really good friend of mine, as there was no chemistry on his part (sadly, there was on mine, but I dealt with it!lol).

I changed my primary photo to a better one, and got about 10 winks the first day, and several since then, but out of them all, only about 4 or 5 were worth persuing. A few e-mail or IM exchanges later, they've all fizzled out.

So I decided to sign up on Yahoo Personals 7 day free trial, and try a different approach. I went through the search and picked about 35 guys that I thought were even remotely cute in my area. I didn't look at the specifics of their profiles, only what they had written in the About Me section. I sent e-mails to them all, thinking that if I broadened my horizons, I'd have better luck...you know, not being so picky.

And only ONE of them responded. And even he didn't respond back to my IM when I said thanks for responding.

Am I UGLY?? I just don't understand why nothing's working out for me. That was really a huge blow to my self esteem, knowing that 34 guys rejected me...

If anyone wants to take a look at my profile and tell me what's wrong with it, I'd appreciate it. My Match profile name is PinkSandBeaches. I can't remember off-hand what my Yahoo profile name is, but all I did was copy the text from Match, and put a different picture as Primary (Yahoo only accepts attachments as pics, and it was the only one I had to send that way, whereas Match lets you use several different methods, making it easier to post them).

I'm starting to get depressed...honest opinions please! Even if you think I'm ugly, please tell me so I know what's wrong...I don't know you, so I can't be mad! lol

Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Sun, 09-04-2005 - 2:50pm

Well, after viewing your profile, what jumped out at me is your preferred age range from 26 to 32. That seems a bit narrow to me. Have you thought about dating a guy who is 35 at all?

Annie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Sun, 09-04-2005 - 2:57pm
I checked out your profile and it's not a bad profile at all. Your written profile gives the reader a good idea of what your personality is like and the pictures are very good too. They are not the fake "glamour shot" type pics that I've seen from both women and men. I have had similar problems on match too. I winked or emailed about 20 men and I only got a wink back from 2 of them and I think I'm attractive. I think no matter how attractive you are some people just have a certain type or something that they need to see in a written profile that catches their eye since there are so many other profiles to look at. I wouldn't take it personally at all. Give it some more time and the right one will come along where there is mutual attraction and chemistry. It's not unheard of to go a year or more on match and still haven't met someone you connect with. It happens pretty often because of the fact that there are so many people to choose from and there usually are so many first dates and not too many 2nd dates or relationships from OLD. Also if you had just emailed these 35 men I would give it some time for them to get back to you because sometimes people can be on vacation, not have been online for awhile etc. Just wait it out and see and don't give up because persistence usally gets you what you want. You only need to meet ONE person that you click with and there are so many to choose from on OLD.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Sun, 09-04-2005 - 11:50pm

I agree with biochic. People have certain criteria and preferences and way too many choices, or so it seems. People are just darned picky! I know I am and I'm just now focusing on broadening my horizons and not be so judgemental without lowering my standards.
I've been on match since December and I've had my ups and downs with it. I did meet two guys who I dated for about two months. They both turned out to be flakes but we had a lot of fun. In between I had some serious slumps and I do believe there's a slow down in the summer. I've gotten more winks in the last week than I've gotten all summer, but dang! these guys just aren't cutting it.
I think your profile is great and the pictures are lovely. I honestly don't think there's a problem there.
Maybe it's the email thing. Are they getting it? I'm not sure if I did. Is it TropicalWaves at Yahoo?
All I can say is just hang in there and keep doing what you're doing, one of these days it will pay off. The important thing to remember is that you are taking a pro-active stance in your search for love and as I said to another poster this morning...it only takes one person to make this all worth it.

Hang in there & Good Luck.
Chele

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Mon, 09-05-2005 - 11:59am
You're very attractive, so I'm certain that's not the problem. Please don't take this the wrong way but you may come across as a little critical. That's o.k. if you are but you'd probably get a lot more responses if guys thought they wouldn't risk getting critiqued too much. I found some of it a little hard to follow, a bit cryptic. I think a lot of people skim through profiles initially to see if there's anything they like. If they do, then they read them more carefully. However, if it's hard to understand to begin with, they'll probably just pass-over it. I know I do. My biggest suggestion would be to explain yourself a little more in some spots. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Mon, 09-05-2005 - 12:30pm
I kind of agree. It was a little hard for me to read as well and I don't think men really read profiles to that extent. I think short, concise and to the point is best. Also I think when you say "I'm not high-maintenence" men think..sure you aren't? LOL just because when someone writes "I don't play games" I think UH HUH RIGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTTTTT....
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Mon, 09-05-2005 - 3:25pm

I think your profile is just fine... like someone said .... some people treat this like a candy shop because there are so many choices...

I like pic number 2 best....so would post that one first... also, I have a tinge of red tones in my hair and someone gave me the feedback to tone down my red lipstick ... I like the results better.... your hair appears a little redder than mine... maybe consider another shade of lipstick?

Lots of luck...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2005
Tue, 09-06-2005 - 11:56pm
I would try to post at least one full body shot in your pics.....you put your body style as average......think about when a guy puts average....In my experience thats not the case...so if using that logic if I was a guy and I saw a cute gal with only headshots I would be hesitant..just my 2cnts
Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 10:55am

For whatever it's worth, one of my rules was to NEVER have email be first contact.