No more CL for me

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
No more CL for me
4
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 10:44am

I'm done. I've used CL a few times in the past (sporadically, mind you) and have only managed to meet toads of varying degrees.

My ads have been articulate and don't go into a laundry list or diatribe of requirements. The response rate on CL is huge, but the number of quality men with the true intent of following through is extremely low.

Typically I'd find three or four potentials of those who responded. After a brief email exchange, the list downsized to two or three- mostly because they disappeared. Several seemed happy just to have a new pen pal. No thanks.

When I finally did meet a few folks in person, there were zero sparks on my end.

Last night was the final turning point. I had placed an ad a day or two earlier and received the usual flood of responses (typical for women on this site) The field was quickly sifted through, then tapered a bit more when a few guys revealed they had a child-or were smokers. Or something mentioned as a dealbreaker in my ad.

I met one guy last night. He looked nothing like his photo (taken years ago) and far from 6 feet tall, as I stood over him. He was unattractive. Worse yet, he put me on the spot when he walked me to my car asking if I'd like to get together again. I gave him an unenthusiastic "that might be nice" response (I know, that's bad) and hoped body language would say the rest.

When I returned home, I responded to another email I'd received. He'd sent his photo and was waiting for mine, so I sent one. Moments letter, I had a reply: "Wow, you're very attractive....but without sounding superficial, would you mind telling me your height and weight?"

I shot him a short response: "Unfortunately, yes, that is a bit too superficial for my taste. But thanks anyway". Then I blocked.

The last time someone asked me a question like that (via email) was years ago- when a guy asked for my bra size after we'd solidified a date. Needless to say, I cancelled right away.

That's alright though. I mean, I could probably use some time for myself anyway. Next time, I think I'll try something different. Like not actively looking!

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 10:55am

Oh, lordy, I'm sorry you have hit a bad patch. The flake factor is indeed high on CL, unfortunately.

I had to laugh at that guy's email--you can't ask that question *without* sounding superficial, LOL!!! What a doofus.

Sounds like it's time for a break. I actually have had some luck meeting some quality guys on CL (even if they weren't a match for me) and haven't found that once I get to the point of meeting, that the ratio is any worse than it is on the other sites (in fact, it might even be better), but I understand your frustration. Time for a break--I know mine this summer helped.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 11:01am
wow, that is really rude...all of it. I think looks are important, but the most i will ever actually say about them is, do you have a picture if they dont have one. That's all i need to know...most of them put their height and body type. Even if i did ask them about their looks in more detail...i'm not really going to know until i actually see in person. It just seems stupid to ask more details of someone's looks online when you've already seen their pictures...if you need to question it then just move on or wait until you meet.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 12:58pm

Unless a guy is 5'6" and says he weighs 300 lbs, when he lists his height and weight, it means nothing to me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 2:18pm

I understand!

heather 5-18-10