No one responds :-(

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
No one responds :-(
6
Thu, 03-09-2006 - 10:16pm

Here is a link for you to C&P to see my profile on Yahoo Personals...

http://tinyurl.com/rd7m3

I'm not getting ANY responses. I've sent Icebreakers to TONS of guys (just a little white lie in the beginning of the profile where I say that I don't do that often! But, hey, they don't know that, right? lol) And not a single response.

So what's wrong with it? I know that guys are much more verb-oriented, but I just can't justify telling them that I like to watch movies and go to shows and all that crap...everybody likes to do the same things, so what makes that any different than any of the other million profiles out there?

I'm just getting tired of this OLD thing...I gave up on Match.com for the same reason...alothough I was getting hits, they just weren't decent ones...

I'm burnt out, guys...and I don't wanna be alone for the summer!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
In reply to: cj311
Thu, 03-09-2006 - 11:49pm

If I was a guy I would not respond to your icebreaker either!
You put a lot of negative statements in your profile.

For one, this is insulting:
If you don't find the fun in seeing who can go the highest on the swings, then there must be something seriously wrong with you ;)

Just fits means not willing to compromise, zero tolerence policy:
I'm looking for someone that just "fits", someone who thinks all their favorite things to do are made better when I'm there, too. Chemistry is important to me (if you don't feel the initial attraction, what incentive do you have to look deeper?) but conversation and emotional connection is what keeps it going long after the chemistry has settled into comfort. Therefore, you must challenge my intellect, but never make me feel small.

Too sarcastic and may offend:
I have a thing for guys who can string rationally coherent sentences together...And yes, fellas, that means spell checking your profile, too ;)

Too detailed and not necessary at this point:
If you're looking to get married in 6 months,

This is expected and acceptable at the beginning of every OLD relationship:
or go home from a date with me to look for another date online, we're not in the same place in life, and mismatched ideals never work.

How is this sentence related to the previous one??
So that also means if you list "working out" or "bar-hopping" as things you do for fun, I would probably bore you to tears.

Well you obviously are not willing to compromise why waste time and meet you:
I'll leave you with one thing...no one ever died from meeting someone new...so let's meet on the monkeybars...

What I recommend is you re-word your profile. Focus on the things you want , reduce usage of don't, won't , never and just (too limiting)
use more positive attitude and tell them how you would like to spend your summer...
Also I think the second picture should be the primary one.

Hope this helps

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: cj311
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 12:02am

Honestly? First, I don't think your pictures are flattering. Your main picture is a off center and makes you look... well, for lack of a better word asymetric. It's scientifically proven that humans prefer faces that are symetric and even on both sides. The angle is awkward and doesn't flatter you. As for the others, two are too small to even see! I've seen your profile before when you posted your Match one and I see the pic you used for that one but it's so tiny that you can't see what you look like! :-)

I like your headline - it's cute. But your profile has a negative sound to it. You talk more about what you DON'T want than what you DO want. Also, you sound almost bitter - like you've had bad experiences. We all have, but you don't want it to come across that way!

Also, personally, when someone makes it sound like they think they've done me a huge favor by sending me a wink, it's a turn off. I think, "What makes you think that you are so special!?" And I always wonder why someone is non-searchable - to me, that's a red flag.

You don't really talk about your interests and what you like to do or what kinds of things you are looking to share with a potential date. You don't mention any specifics at all. Your profile is just kind of a generic profile that could be ANYONE. You need to let people know who YOU are and why you are interesting and why they should want to write you back and get to know you. Specifics about what you like to do, places you like to go are KEY. It's what makes you YOU and keeps you from being every other girl oniline.

I'm sorry, I hope this doesn't sound too harsh. I just think you are giving a very negative and unflattering picture both in your profile and the photo. :-(

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: cj311
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 10:45am

I agree with Vex and Julia's posts... except I think the pictures are fine. If you have more post them on your profile. It's really ok for women to post as many as they wish (it doesn't make you appear conceited or self-absorbed).

Your opening line is a major turn-off. It makes me think that every word I spoke and every action I made would be put under a microscope for critical review.

There is a lot of value in leaving out the negatives and accentuating the positives.

Also, make your profile searchable. I know you may be trying to avoid the ying-yangs from contacting you but that's just a part of what women have to deal with online. It doesn't take much effort to DELETE then BLOCK.

I think you made a smart move in asking for advice on your profile. The criticism stings at first but after you've really thought about it and then revamped your profile you'll smile at the results.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2006
In reply to: cj311
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 11:41am

Agree, Agree, AGREE! With all of the other posts.. EVERYTHING they have said is exactly what I felt. The minute I finished reading the first couple of sentences, I was turned off. You sounded like you're trying to punish the men that have yet to contact you..I know that's not what you're trying to get across, but frankly, the joke is coming across the wrong way..If you like, I have my profile up there check it out...

http://personals.yahoo.com/us/personals-1092240373-483759

I'm not saying mine is perfect, but I do get some hits from it, and I'm totally honest about what I'm looking for...

(I'm also open to anyone who wants to critique it as well) :)

With all that said, I would like to say that I do like your pictures, but would like to see the little ones enlarged...I think they're nice, but should be easy to see..I also like the meet me on the monkey-bars line, it says that you are a very playful person, who likes to be carefee about life...it just needs to be put in a better sentence structure..
I hope this was helpful!
Take care, and keep us informed!

Lisa

boston.png Boston Girl image by EmmaLee192

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: cj311
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 12:26pm
I wanted to add that I do like the other three pictures. I just don't like the first one since the face looks crooked. One of the other face shots would be much better as the opener AFTER it's been enlarged. Too tiny pics are not good either but they are IMO better than the one you have as the main.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
In reply to: cj311
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 3:11pm

I wasn't able to pull up the link, but I read part of your profile from the second post. It does sound to me like you are bitter, and that is coming through on your profile. I am not saying you don't have reason to be bitter. I have been there a lot in the last 6 or so years that I did not have a steady relationship. A lot about OLD also contributed to my bitterness with each time that an online meet didn't work out.

The trick is to not "sound" bitter in your profile or when you go on dates. I think part of the purpose of this board is so that we can vent and get rid of some of that bitterness and disappointment without having it affect our dating relationships. About the only thing that I put in my profile that might have seemed negative was that I was not a game-player and was only interested in guys wanting a long-term relationship. So, if they could read between the lines, the guys wanting to casual date only or find someone for casual sex need not contact me, but I didn't put that line in there. If they had half a brain, they could figure that out on their own.

I think there are ways of being honest in a profile without making others think twice about wanting to contact you. Better to have some hits and then decipher if they are possible matches rather than scare the majority off because you have too rigid expectations for them.