No questions == lack of interest?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
No questions == lack of interest?
10
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 11:32am

This is something I've been seeing lately on the boards, so

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 12:24pm

I consider it a lack of interest although I give it some time. If I'm corresponding w/someone and I'm asking all the questions, I will usually answer the question and then say "hey, don't let me be the one doing all the asking!" At times it works and sometimes it doesn't. If they continue to answer and don't ask well then I usually get bored of the one-sided conversation and it fizzles.

During telephone conversations, I use to be the type of person who tried to keep the conversation flowing and at times I take the role but when I notice it's one-sided, I will not say anything and see if he will talk. I understand about people being nervous, but after 2-3 phone calls if he is not asking questions or making conversation, then I lose interest.

Of course, any question of a sexual nature is unacceptable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2002
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 1:11pm

I would call it a lack of interest....but sometimes in the beginning it could just be that the guy is shy. When Russ and I first started talking in person he was very shy. He is still shy to a point, but it has gotten better.


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Anne
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 1:17pm
I tend to take it that way. For example, I emailed a guy yesterday and said hi and asked how his weekend was (we emailed once or twice). He gave me NOTHING and said "It was great. How was yours?" That whole thing was a turnoff to me. If you're not interested in talking to me, ignore my email but the 2 line reply (even though it had a question) screams lack of interest to me. I haven't written back and don't know if I want to.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 1:26pm
I don't even chalk it up to lack of interest, I think quickly that this guy doesn't know how to sustain a conversation and is expecting me to entertain him. Next.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 1:43pm
Ok, now what if it's he's not asking questions, but converses and shares info, etc?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 1:45pm
Then I lean toward that he's a self-centered ME! ME! ME! person! ;-)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 10:36pm
I think it can be a lack of interested - but like someone else said, it's more likely he doesn't know how to hold a conversation. I don't have time for that. I'm shy, so if I'm running the conversation - total turn off.







iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2005
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 8:16pm
I wouldn't give up on someone if they didn't ask you questions on the first few dates. I used to ask a lot of questions, but now I kind of tell little antidotes about myself, and men seem to open up more, when I open up more. I'll tell a story about myself and they usually come back with one. If you ever have a chance to go to a bar or a business meeting or any place men are gathered, if you easedrop on any of their conversations in a group, men don't ask each other a lot of questions, like women do. Maybe just a different way of having a conversation will get his attention more. See if that works. FF
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 8:25pm

It depends...I've had guys ask me every question under the sun that lead me to believe they were serious only to "ghost" after a few dates.

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 2:39pm

Hi everybody!
I might be going off on a tangent here, but here it goes anyhow:

sometimes it's cultural. Of course, if you dating m,en who were born and raised in the US, this shouldn't be an issue. But as European, who also tends to date immigrants/foreigners here, I can tell you that American style of communication is not universal. Actually in one book, they called it "ping-pong" communication (an exchange of questions and answers). Europeans, for example tend to swap stories, and not ask questions. Which is why it took me forever to learn how to show interest in people here; also, imagine how many of the people I would talk to would feel that I am self-centered; at the same time, I felt interrogated! :)