Is this a normal reaction?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2004
Is this a normal reaction?
13
Wed, 02-16-2011 - 7:22pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 02-16-2011 - 7:29pm

Yes it shows he is a jerk--it'snot normal at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2004
Wed, 02-16-2011 - 9:21pm

Thank you Musiclover!

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Thu, 02-17-2011 - 5:26am

It's a shame that guys like this sort of ruin it for other guys in the OLD world. A couple of years ago I heard from a guy in a city 4 hours away from me. He was completely unappealing to me in every way, and I decided to use the "I don't do long distance" reason. I got a nasty-gram back--he even went on to brag about how successful he is financially and that a woman would stand to inherit all of his money when he dies (WTF??). And here I thought I was being nice. After that, I just no longer responded to men I wasn't interested in. And how do you say, "You are physically unappealing to me" without being hurtful? And we all know that physical appearance is very important to men (after all, don't we hear over and over and over again that men are more "visual" than women? As if women aren't "visual" too.)

I often hear that men have a hard time getting women to respond to them with OLD, and I think this is a big reason why. I think a lot of men also have an over-inflated opinion of their desirability. I hear from lots of boring, fat, uneducated men, and I'm sorry, it's just not gonna happen. In fact, I am on hiatus from OLD right now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Thu, 02-17-2011 - 1:32pm

I, too, am on hiatus from OLD, for just the reasons you stated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Thu, 02-17-2011 - 2:35pm

Not normal and it's good you find out now and not later when you are emotionally invested.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Thu, 02-17-2011 - 3:31pm

Not really an odd reaction.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Fri, 02-18-2011 - 3:01pm
I agree with azure on what you should have said. Tell him you didn't feel you are a good match, wish him luck, block him and move on. While his reaction was a bit much, he is right, you DID know from the beginning that he was far away so to use that as your excuse to get out of it is kinda lame. And no, he's not in your head so no, he doesn't understand that the 3 weeks was to get to know him and the long distance was an excuse to get out of it. You told him it would be nice to chat and see if you liked each other. You didn't particularly care for him and I bet he would have actually appreciated your (subtle) honesty if you'd said that you enjoyed the conversation but think you don't have a lot of common interests so it's better to go your separate ways.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2004
Fri, 02-18-2011 - 5:09pm

I don't know guys.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Fri, 02-18-2011 - 8:47pm

I had an experience with a man that was kind of similar.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Fri, 02-18-2011 - 9:36pm
I've very rarely had anyone get nasty with me if I tell them I think we're not a match. Usually I don't hear from them at all or I get a "thanks for your honesty" email. That sucks that you get a different response, but if you're concerned, then send it and block them - most email programs have a way to block users as do most dating sites.

For you it seems your darned if you do and darned if you don't so why not just be honest and move on?

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

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