Not Generating Interest on Match
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| Thu, 01-11-2007 - 10:13pm |
I've been on Match now for almost 60 days, and feel like I don't have anything to show for it. I had great conversations with one guy who ghosted just before we met, and one horrible first meet. I don't seem to be getting many winks or emails, and haven't received responses to the few that I have sent (about 10 or so.) At first I thought it was just bad timing around the holidays, but it's not getting better. Friends have looked at both my picture and profile, and feel they are a good reflection of me.
But here is my question - I have heard women say that things generally worked better with the guys who had contacted them first. I have been rather shy about sending emails of my own. At this point, I suppose I have nothing to lose by sending more emails to men who appear interesting, but what is your general approach? Are you more proactive, or wait to see who contacts you?
Thanks for any advice you may have - this board has been great and I have already learned a lot.

Hi,
I am one of those who found things went better with men who contacted me as opposed to men whom I contacted first. This may just have been coincidence. Some folks around here have done better with guys they contacted.
Right now I am on Yahoo, but my profile is "non-searchable" because I got tired of hearing from guys I wasn't interested in. So now I send an icebreaker to guys who I'm interested in. I've had replies from a couple (from more than a dozen) and I'm e-mailing them.
Yeah, the lack of response/interest can be frustrating. For me, also, there're just not that many guys in my area who would be right for me, so when most of those aren't interested... :( However, I think that the best thing is to remind ourselves that even if we only meet one guy in six months, that is one more guy than we would have met if we had not been doign OLD. :)
A lot of this is just luck. But if you are going to try to "improve" something, my advice is that you work on getting the absolutely best picture possible. Second, come up with a good "header." A lot of guys don't actually read the profile, so everything rests on the picture and header.
Elsa
I had a hard time on Match as well. On the advise of a friend, I switched to Plentyoffish.com and got a lot better response. However, this site is free so there are a lot more "freaks" for lack of a better term.
I did met someone there who I have now being dating for nearly 7 mths.
Good luck!
EJ
I can say for sure that age is a definate deterrent b/c most men only look for younger woman (usually 35 and under). I find after I got past that age the number of responses went way down even though I had a good profile and pictures. That being an unchangeable factor unless you want to lie and I don't. The next thing is have very good pictures of yourself. What you say in the profile isn't that important as long as you don't stand out as being weird or snobby.
Even if you're past a certain age, there are still acceptable men who write to you, so just persist, you'll meet someone who don't care how old you are who you can be attracted to.
As far as contacting people, I'd say go for it. Depending on the "batch" of men you write to, when I wrote to them I usually get 1-3 responses for every 10 emails I sent. I've met a couple of guys who liked me more than I liked them even though I was the one initiating the contact.
I really don't have that much faith in OLD but just want to share with you my experience. At this time I have very little desire to search online but when I'm ready, I'll probably have some professional pictures taken.
I was on Match for 1 year. I ended up getting a good relationship out of it at the 6 month mark. I found the guy after I made the following adjustments:
1). Broadened my geographic preference to be within 150 miles of my zip code;
2). I definitely did not sit back and wait for men to contact me--no good hits that way. I sent tons of winks.
3). I became less picky about guys I would wink at. Previously, I would not contact men whose profiles had misspellings for example. The guy I ended up meeting had misspellings in his profile and his lack of spelling skills was not reflective of the true person!
I think it can work but it takes a lot of work.
Good luck!