Not getting any interest or replies!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Not getting any interest or replies!!!
10
Mon, 05-16-2005 - 10:19am

Well I think I am about to give up... I have been on the OLD sites for a little while now (2 months) and I know that may seem like not that much time, but in that time, I have barely gotten any interest or replies to my "winks" etc. I can tell that close to 350 people have viewed my profile (probably more!!!) and as a result, I got three guys to talk to only!!! I've gotten a couple of winks from guys in Africa but besides that, nothing!!! I have sent winks out (lots of them!!!) and don't get any replies, except for the occasional, "thank but not thanks"!!!

I am not too impressed I must say. My philosophy of the OLD, is to meet as many people as possible. If the guy's picture or profile sounds even remotely interesting, I'll send a wink and if somebody contacts me, I'll make the effort of talking to them to see if I would like to meet. But that is not happening...

A little confused about this... I didn't think OLD would be this difficult. You are welcome to go view my profile at Match.com (butterfly_yy) and let me know what you think!!!

Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-16-2005 - 1:48pm
Last time you gave us your ID I went to look at your profile and couldn't get to it. I get a message saying it's hidden. Are you sure you didn't hide it accidentally? That would certainly explain why you haven't gotten any mail ...
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2004
Mon, 05-16-2005 - 1:59pm
Yep! It appears to be hidden.
hello
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Mon, 05-16-2005 - 2:08pm
Oops... Butterfly011!!!
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-16-2005 - 4:21pm

I would get a new set of photos done. The lead photo is a nice one of you, but having someone else's head or whatever in there makes it a little odd. And the full length one isn't as flattering or as clear as it could be, IMO. Since you put "curvy" (which people use to cover a wide range of body types ;-)), you need to give people looking at your profile as clear a view as you can as to what your body really looks like.

I still think your profile could be more specific, as I've said before, but I think that guys are so driven by photos that you want to put the best ones you can up there, even if that means getting a friend to take new ones just for your profile.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Mon, 05-16-2005 - 8:14pm

Ditto with NWW - I'd put in three clear shots of head/body(full length) and candid. The ones you have now are very cute -- so I do not think you have a problem other than getting the right pose.


Your profile is telling - and not showing. And when you do that it throws you into the Match beauty contest. You can stack the odds way in your favor by including specifics of what you like to do, where you do it, etc.


Example:


OK:


I like to read and be outdoors.


Better:


Weekends find me browsing the aisles at Borders in search of the latest ___ ( insert author or genre) ___ book. When not inside, I enjoy the ski slopes of ____ or the cross country trails either in ____ or ____.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Mon, 05-16-2005 - 8:47pm

I'm with NWW and LG... your profile comes across to me more as you "selling" yourself, rather than getting to know you... The other thing that sticks out to me is all the "anys" in your profile. Not saying this is the truth, just my impression--it made it feel a bit too open for me.

Hope this helps.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2005
Mon, 05-16-2005 - 10:24pm

Hi... thanks for your replies... I am still confused. I thought the whole thing about OLD was about selling myself. I can't believe that because I didn't put my favorite author (don't have one!!) or my favorite movie (don't have one, really, more of a style!!) or a favorite place to play sports, that guys simply skip over my profile... I thought that OLD was an opportunity to chat/meet lots of people, almost regardless of what they wrote to see if there might be a connection...

I thought favorite things are the kind that you get to know as you get the know the person... if all the information is there on the profile, then that almost takes away the first conversations!!! I am actually thinking that OLD is becoming worst than going to clubs (and I thought OLD was supposed to be relatively easy!!!)

To you guys out there... if you were to receive a smile from me, would you look at my profile and turn it down?!!! is my profile really that ... the word that comes to mind is almost "repulsive"!!! I have sent over 50 smiles on lavalife and I got 2 replies... anybody that would send me a smile, I would give him the chance to at least chat a little!!! I'm not saying that I'm desperate but rather that I am opened to meeting somebody. And I don't believe that a few words and a couple of pictures will give me a true picture of somebody...

Sorry for the rant but very frustrated!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 1:19am

Hi Dannie,

Just 4-1-1...I was on OLD for 9 months...I got over 10 thousand hits in that time, and not a Ton of them were very interesting at All. But, it only took that One hit from the right man. Tall Man wrote me a little over 4 months ago now, and we took our profiles off of Match last month..together, at his house. Don't quit so soon, please..modify if you need to and go on about life, but keep your line in the lake!

Also, TM lived No More than 10 minutes from me and we even went to Most of the same stores and restaurants, as we live in a large planned community...but I NEVER saw him..so without OLD, we would not have met. I flew to Chicago to meet TM after a biz trip, and play there (great city, y'all!), and I sat by a man on the way there that met His wife of a year on Match...and so did my best friend of 35 years--they married this past November.

Stay in and pitch your own game!

Good luck
Truly,
Cupcake

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 5:39am

I will not consider any profile where I do not think we would match on the compatibility level. Pictures are secondary but still important to the overall "do we match" question. Ignoring the fact that a large percentage of online people are attracted initially by photos is a no-no.


Unfortunately online is not as altruistic as showing up and having several "mr or ms rights" at your doorstep. If you haven't already, take a look at what EVERYONE on here experiences. I don't think you're results are overly bad --- everyone has the exact same ups and downs. Until you develop the willingness to fail and to say "next" to bad opportunities -- online dating will be a struggle.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2004
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 3:54pm
I don't know....I think that the description under "interest" is fine. When I was doing OLD it read similar to how yours is. The only thing I feel that you should be more specific on is the "type" of person you are trying to meet. You have listed "any" under alot of the categories and whenever I saw a profile that had that listed or was very non-specific, I'd simply scan over them.
Also - I belonged to Match, Yahoo & American Singles and didn't pay for any of them. I was able to get hits and emails but I couldn't be the initiator.
hello