Not good news, but,...m

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Not good news, but,...m
19
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 9:47pm

I will be fine. Just got vibes the guy I met doesn't like me...that he was trying to back away. Trying to find an out. Asked him directly if he liked me or not. He says yes, but then says, "But I like everyone..." and things like that. I am a little hurt. He would not put me at ease about it. Hedged. Have to let him go already...but feels like I have been letting him go a long time....cause he really was never meant for me although there were things I was so attracted to in him. He just never quite reciprocated in the same way, though I wanted him to. Sad. But I will be okay. I'll miss talking to him for a long time though.

Sara

P.S. This also goes back to the discussions about gut feelings. My gut feelings from the beginning were that, although he was a charmer in a bad boy kind of way, he was "not that into me"....and even though we talked for hours, I thought he was not that into me....more bored and lonely than into me. I knew the difference. Odd, isn't it?




Edited 10/11/2005 9:58 pm ET by saralm
 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 11:35pm

That means the right guy has yet to cross your path; just means your one step closer.

Cheers,
SP

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 12:29am

Hi Sara,

You just Know, 'dontcha? That is your intuition telling you to move along. The more time you waste with the Wrong man, is the time you are missing Spending, with the Right man..so Ding! Next!

Men will chat for days and see where they can get with that. The right one will come along and have all of the oars in the water for you and you will Know that, too!

Good luck and keep on rollin' on!

Truly,
Cupcake

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 6:37am

It's so great though that you recognize that your guts were singing a different tune... It' s hard to walk away but better to do so than to attempt to force a square block into a circular hole...


Chin up girl, we're here for ya.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2005
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 8:37pm

Good for you for "knowing what you know", and trusting it. I'll bet it will help you in the future.

For what it's worth, I've known things in my gut but not acted on them...it's not that easy, is it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 8:49pm

It seems to be the hardest thing in the world at times... LOL.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2004
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 10:27pm
That's for sure. Somtimes, it's a "hard pill to swallow" when you reallylike someone. Unfortunately, I always end up asking myself.."What's wrong with me?" I'm still questioning if I did the right thing letting the guy I was dating the past 2+ months. He was everything a woman would want and more, but I just didn't have that 'feeling" when I was around him. It was still hard to do and again makes me ask "What's wrong with me?" I always seem to fall head over heels for the man who is an a**.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 10-13-2005 - 2:11am

To All,

Thanks for the encouraging words and empathy. You know, you have to look deep into yourself sometimes. Truth is, in the end, I might have hurt him. After a while, I would have said, "WTF?" after I opened my eyes and realized he was not someone who had any money to spend, had any sophistication *at all*, had many manners *at all*, or had many thoughts of anybody but himself being the center of the universe. **Seriously** That bad. I was barking up the wrong tree. He probably wondered how he could live with himself for being with me because he is that bad. Eventually, after I had spoiled him, I would have dropped him. Maybe he saw that coming. But (I hate to mention it again), he also had a *thing* about my weight, *I am pretty certain* because he is not a *big* guy, and I think he felt awkward with my being fuller figured. Just my thoughts. Really though....I am fine. :) Gut feelings intact. :)

Sara

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2005
Thu, 10-13-2005 - 5:27am

<>

I don't understand any of this. Can you explain please? How can you tell the future? Is money an important factor for you in a relationship? If he didn't say he had a problem with your weight, why would you assume it?

<>

I don't understand this at all. Seems like a whole bunch of assuming going on here. Why is that?


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 10-13-2005 - 8:10am

Hi,

Money means nothing to me, so I guess I can take that statement back. I am a little hurt right now. I can see a diamond in the rough in him. I wanted him to rise to the occasion and realize I am a "good catch" and a good person. I am not sure what happened....surely a part of it is me, I guess. But when I asked him to express some liking for me, he did not want to commit to even liking me more than the average woman roaming around...I asked minimal and he would not give it. But what I meant by all that is, that if the situation had gone on, his faults probably would have gotten to me....Not sure...but they might have. Like I said, he has no manners, is rude at times, etc. He is like a caveman in modern terms. Hard to describe. LOL. Believe me, I wish it had been different, but it didn't end up that way. By the way, yes...he hinted about the weight problem. I just don't spell it out here. I can't type everything, every conversation. For instance, during the last conversation I had with him the other evening, I told him I broke down and had a cheeseburger from Micky D's for dinner on the way home from a long (12 hr) day at work. He said, "Oh!!! And I bet you had the fries and the shake and...yuck!...that's disgusting." He is rude...and he was not kidding. He let me know in his ways that I was more than a little too much in weight. I am not going to spell it all out. Sometimes I would want the reader to have trust that what I am saying is not exaggerated. Thanks.

Sara

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Thu, 10-13-2005 - 9:08am

Hi Sara,


I've been following most of your posts and I just started wondering... are you really ready to be out there, doing the OLD thing? It seems there are some other pressing concerns that you want to focus on and I'm just wondering if doing OLD is right for you now. I don't want to see you get hurt so just a question I wanted to pose to you...


As for this guy, it may have been a little much to ask him on the 3rd date what his feelings were. I know a lot of guys

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