A Not Great Meeting

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
A Not Great Meeting
1
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 6:31pm

I didn't expect much from my meeting with this guy I met this afternoon, and I turned out to be right.

He's someone who's e-mailed me a few times, finally we talked on the phone, but neither the phone conversation nor the e-mail made me think we'd really have a lot in common. I wasn't sure why he wanted to meet in person, but I thought I'd give him a chance.

Anyway, we met for coffee, and I am SO VERY GLAD you gals gave me the tip about meeting for coffee instead of a meal. I've had a couple of decent meets with people that I didn't necessarily want to see again afterwards over lunch, but meeting this guy over lunch would have been torture.

First, he had already gotten himself coffee and pastry when I arrived. I was five minutes early, so he must have arrived and started way early. I think it would have been nicer if he'd waited, since the place wasn't crowded and neither one of us was in a rush.

Second, he didn't rise when I arrived. I don't expect it whenever I see a guy, but I think it is a nice gesture to stand up when you first meet someone, especially from a guy to a woman he's meeting as a possible "date."

Third, he didn't offer to pay for my coffee. For Pete's sake, it was a $3.00 cup of latte. Maybe he was afraid I'd order too much and he'd be stuck paying a whole $8.00. But it just would have been nice to have him offer. (I would have turned him down.)

Fourth, (to complement his stinginess about the coffee) he kept talking about how expensive little things were. For instance, he complained about how the price of his favorite ice cream had gone up last summer--by something like 10 cents a serving. I'm sorry, even if you have to have a serving every day of the year, that's still only some $37 a year --Not something to whine about on a first meeting. (The price of gas is another matter. We both agreed that was a problem for many people, etc. But ice cream??)

Fifth, when we were talking about a political situation in our area, he interrupted me to correct me about a matter that I probably know more about than he does, since it involves a person that my company has worked with. Maybe he did know more than I did, but given that I had told him that so-and-so, who I know personally, had given me this account of the issue, he could have let me finish reporting what so-and-so said before reporting his own opinion/theory/information.

Last, when we were talking about weight (both of us are overweight) and he mentioned how the nation is become obese, even the young people, I made the mistake of mentioning that my daughter is somewhat overweight at 20 whereas I never was overweight until after the kids were born. SO he says that _his_ daughter has kept her figure, and then starts telling me how all the young people who are overweight now, like my daughter, are going to be facing really serious health risks. This may be true, but I just told him I was worried about my daughter. He didn't need to try to make me more worried.

All in all, my instinct that this was not a good match was accurate. However, I don't regret meeting him (since I managed to get out of there in one hour) because it reminds me that my instinct is good. ;)

Elsa

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2007
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 9:25pm
thank g-d for Starbucks.