Not Replying to Emails?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2006
Not Replying to Emails?
5
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 5:08pm

Okay, so I posted an ad (no pictures) on craigslist, just to see what kind of responses I'd get back. I tend to view CL as kind of a sketchy venue, so I honestly expected a 99% freaky weirdo response rate (but I have a good friend who met her boyfriend there, so I was hoping the 1% would pull through). Anyways, I got about 50+ responses IN THE FIRST 24 HOURS.

I would say that 90% of the 50 were normal guys (granted, not all what I was looking for, but they seem okay). I immediately deleted the obviously scary ones or guys with no pictures. Now, however, there is no way I can respond to everyone. A lot of them are just not my type and I hate to be mean. Should I just delete them and figure they'll get over it, or is it best to make some little form letter thanking them for writing but saying I'm not interested? Does it even matter?

Forgive me if this has been asked recently. I forgot how much energy this online dating stuff takes!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 5:37pm
As for CL, I absolutely 100% endorse NOT responding to ones you are not interested. Unless you respond, they don't have your real email address and there is absolutely nothing wrong with not responding to ones you don't want to pursue anything with. Also, depending on who you talk to, there is nothing wrong with not responding on other OLD sites either. It's a personal preference for the other sites - personally, I prefer NOT to receive the "thanks, but no thanks" emails - I can infer lack of interest by a lack of response, thank you! I don't need a flat out rejection to tell me so. On CL, with so many responses, it is impossible to respond to all of them, especially to give a "no thanks" email. Don't write a form letter - it will come off that way. Just delete and move on. There is nothing to "get over" - if they are so strange that they have put all their heart and soul into an ad they responded to on CL - they need serious help. They're not gonna die if you don't send them a response. You're not being "mean" by not responding - they don't know you, you don't know them and you don't "owe" them anything at all.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 5:41pm

I'm with Vexer--I personally cannot STAND getting "thanks but no thanks" emails so I don't send them. I would much rather infer that someone isn't interested from their silence, than be TOLD that ;-)!

But it's really a personal preference--but I think the safety/privacy reason she mentioned for CL is a valid one, also.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 6:02pm
I also agree with last 2 posters. There is no need to tell someone anything if you aren't interested. It would take forever for you to respond to several people like that anyway. Now I believe if you have been on couple of dates or even one date with someone then it's probably courteous to let them know that you don't see them being a match, but as far as before even meeting up then I don't think it's necessary.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 6:56pm
100% agreed. In the initial email/wink stage, I don't think it's necessary. Even before you meet, I don't think it's necessary to send the thanks but no thanks email. But after a date or two, I do think it's courteous to send an email.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 7:53pm

I agree with the others. It isn't necessary to reply to everyone who emailed you...