not ruling out other guys

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
not ruling out other guys
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 3:34pm

I've posted about T (speed dating guy) a few days ago. I think things are going uphill for us as we are getting to know each other... but still, he's acts like my brother when we do "normal" stuff (watch a dvd, have lunch etc) then he suddenly switches to "lover" mode. Like when we watch TV he just sits next (close) to me but doesn't really touch me with his hands or arms.

I have asked him if he wants anything more from me apart from sex... then it turned into a "where are we" relationship talk. We agreed that we're still getting to know each other and he made it clear that he likes sex but doesn't want to hurt or use me if I don't want it... a 2 way street. I also told him that I don't want to have sex without affection- not like some guy rolling on top of me then roll off. In this department, he started trying... yesterday when things got hot he really tried to touch me and kiss me etc. Still when he had finished, we sat around a bit and I was about to leave (cos he said right from the beginning he had work to do) and he said out loud that he had stuff to do and that he didn't want "kick me" out so I said yeah I'm going anyway. I was a bit shocked because it was just 10 minutes ago that we were hot in bed and I wasn't about to sit for 10 minutes then leap up and go...

So there are red flags, but I like him so I'll give him a little more time and see. In the meantime, I'm not ruling out others.

Here comes the next part:

I'm emailing 2 guys from OLD. Hope to meet them in person at some point. T and I didn't say we're exclusive... we're still getting to know each other... also I have a feeling that I might dump him if things don't improve.

OLD guy #3, N, who I was trying to call in November last year and when I called he had his phone switched off and later said he was sick, made contact with me again... wants to chat on the phone again. I don't get it... it's like 2 months later he wants to chat again.

Anyway, here's the update. Would love to know what you guys think.