not sure what to think??

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
not sure what to think??
49
Thu, 08-25-2005 - 4:23pm
Hi- I am new hear. I am a single mom to a 2year old son. I have never been married and his father and I broke up several months ago. Well, I started looking into the "on-line" thing back in June... Well, earlier this month I was contacted by this man... we exchanged emails and emailed each other each day for about a month and then last week we exchanged telephone numbers and this past Saturday we met and had lunch. I had a great time and he seemed to be interested... Well, I know I am jumping the gun on this, but he doesn't seem to be as email friendly as before. Now he has called me and texted me twice but I haven't heard from him since Tuesday and I just don't know what to think. Out of all the guys I have communicated with I like him the best. But I am the kind of person that if I don't get enough attention, then I lose interest... I mean come on,... I think a lot of women / men are like that. Anyway,... do I just leave it alone and wait for him to communicate with me? I don't want him to think I am not interested.... I did email him a short HI! this morning... but I haven't heard anything. DOn't guys know that if they don't pursue us we lose interest???
What should I do? I am new to this online dating thing.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-25-2005 - 4:50pm

I would assume that he's not all that interested and date other people. If you hear from him, great, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

Unfortunately, this is very common in the world of OLD (online dating). I've found that the guys who are REALLY interested in me are the ones who line up a 2nd date before the first meet ends.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Thu, 08-25-2005 - 10:04pm
A month of emailing is a long time to be emailing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 8:47am

okay- WHY are you sorry? I disagree I am not going to meet someone just b/c I have seen a picture or emailed them once or twice- I thing that IS VERY Dangerous and stupid.

I prefer to email for a while, exchange numbers and then meet. But then again this is the first time I have done this. I prefer the non-pathetic way of meeting people.. LOL!!!

Anyway, he DID call last night just to say hi... I actually think he respects me and understands that I need to take things slow.....I just have to be careful not to rush into things...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 9:52am
I said I was sorry it happened that way because it seemed a person you were interested in had ghosted on you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 10:33am

The problem with online communication for too long before you meet is that you begin to think you "really" know the person - you build up a fantasy and expectations. Then you meet in real life, and it all falls apart, which devastates some people. (All that is "general you", not you specifically.)

<<>>

What's that supposed to mean - that OLD is pathetic? If you think so, why do it?


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 10:45am
I just re-read your post and wanted to reply to the dangerous and stupid comment (somehow I missed that the first time).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 11:38am

And your point would be????

Of course that's how I feel, I don't give out any personal info. I actually have never done it before, b/c I have had luck with meeting people at work or out and about....But being online doesn't mean your pathetic... it just means that the other ways didn't work... I disagree with you, I do think that it is ok to email back and forth, especially when you have met someone online... I don't live in a fantasy world, I am very capable of living in the real world. I don't build false expectations of men,... that's just stupid. I am not desperate, so why would I want to jump into meeting someone when I have just "chatted" with them online. to me that looks desperate and lonely. Just my 2 cents.

Avatar for calilawgirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 11:42am

WOW. That was abrasive.

Firstamendment was merely trying to point out some of the mistakes people make with OLD. She wasn't attacking you personally.

If you've got it all figured out- good for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 12:16pm
Thanks for your input... I believe the other poster and I were merely trying to express our opinions... which is always ok with me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 1:51pm

I wasn't saying you had to meet sooner, I was giving my opinion on why meeting a sooner is a good idea in general

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