not sure what to think??
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not sure what to think??
| Thu, 08-25-2005 - 4:23pm |
Hi- I am new hear. I am a single mom to a 2year old son. I have never been married and his father and I broke up several months ago. Well, I started looking into the "on-line" thing back in June... Well, earlier this month I was contacted by this man... we exchanged emails and emailed each other each day for about a month and then last week we exchanged telephone numbers and this past Saturday we met and had lunch. I had a great time and he seemed to be interested... Well, I know I am jumping the gun on this, but he doesn't seem to be as email friendly as before. Now he has called me and texted me twice but I haven't heard from him since Tuesday and I just don't know what to think. Out of all the guys I have communicated with I like him the best. But I am the kind of person that if I don't get enough attention, then I lose interest... I mean come on,... I think a lot of women / men are like that. Anyway,... do I just leave it alone and wait for him to communicate with me? I don't want him to think I am not interested.... I did email him a short HI! this morning... but I haven't heard anything. DOn't guys know that if they don't pursue us we lose interest???
What should I do? I am new to this online dating thing.
What should I do? I am new to this online dating thing.

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I'm 50 years old and in no way am I embarassed to admit that I use OLD as a medium to meet people. Actually, I'm quite proud of the fact that I'm being pro-active in my search to find someone compatable to spend the rest of my life with. Every day I thank my lucky stars that the internet is available and that OLD came along because I don't hang out in bars nor do I have a plethora of single friends eager to fix me up. I've met some very interesting and wonderful men and made some great friendships that will last a lifetime, one of them right here on this board thanks to OLD. My friends and family are happy that I'm getting out and have made a new life for myself thanks to OLD. Never has anyone turned their nose down at me. If they did they wouldn't be a very good friend as a friend is one who supports your decisions and doesn't pass judgment on you for them.
If you don't want people to know that you use OLD then why use it? Isn't that the same a being ashamed of doing it. Surely you wouldn't want to do something you are ashamed of. I know I sure wouldn't.
In the end it doesn’t really matter how you meet men to date – in the end you will find someone and OLD just UPS your ODDS of finding someone. Until you’ve walked a mile in someone’s moccasins you can’t really know – so your family doesn’t understand it but if they tried it they might have a different opinion.
Good luck and I think you’ll enjoy it.
SP
Hi Gang,
I don't think it is embarassing at all to be on OLD. And if people think that they are that great and people who would do OLD are the lonely, desperate ones, they are fooling themselves. We all get lonely.
Sara
Thanks Stacey!! I'll be 51 in October and loving every minute of it. hehe...
Libra
Yes you have an opinion...you always say you are not allowed to have an opinion here when someone disagrees or actually shows you something you may need to know that is important. lol..
Also..why is being ignorant such a negative connotation to you? I didnt say you were stupid...i said you were ignorant. I am ignorant about a lot of things...I love learning from others.
You put your opinion out there and when you are challenged on ..or heck..even given ADVICE (like the very generous Firstamendment did) or given sympathy for the disappointment you felt regarding that guy...you say "WHY are you sorry" or " and your point is?" ....you know exactly how you are acting Kae. (Came off bratty to me...but that is my sole opinion). You arent stupid (by the way...reminder...ignorant ..isn't stupid) But i think you assume many here are.(assumptive of me to say shame on me). Your defensiveness about the Nigerian thing " but it didnt say anything about OLD". You just keep sounding like you are looking for a fight because perhaps you go to debate boards and get your frustrations out there or something.
Unsolicited advice...you didn't ask for it..(i know this ) so no reason to go on and say I am attacking you (not) or not allowing your opinion (not) ..again..unsolicited advice is advice not asked for...but given anyway (helpful intentions) or clarification...but here goes:
I'd a) losen up and listen after you give your opinion before you respond and yes by all means respond if you like but dont waste font space saying "i guess i am not allowed to have an opinion"...that can be taken very passive-agressively babycryin'. Just say what you mean...thats what this place is for. Its a given. you are allowed to express yourself as long as it doesn't conflict with TOS.
b) try not to be so "tough" with your defense coming out of the gate because you end up only seeing the negative (you didn't even see that First was being helpful and sympathetic) because you are expecting it because *you* let loose with controversial thoughts..because its the internet after all lol ...and then you go ahead and reveal after some prodding how you really felt. Great...you feel that way...and some feel another. Those offended defended. But you crybabied. I don't preface every post by saying "thats my opinion and i guess i am not allowed to say it". Its assumed every post is people's opinion. You said it was "most of america's" opinion and that "most people" are embarrassed. Stick with how you feel. Admit to how you feel. Then defend how you feel. Don't speak for america...assumption is a b____h to defend if you happen to be wrong or speaking for masses. Leave that to the politicians lol or poll takers. Thats what i meant by the hole dug. This was how YOU felt. So you were left to defend yourself...not most americans. Get past that hump and relax and be yourself (dont hide behind generalizations but keep to your opinion whether its popular or not but take the lumps if you throw out the rocks. If you cant be honest to yourself and others here..where can you be?
Shakespeare (i think it was) said "to thyne own self be true".
Its always very telling when someone defensively says "i guess i am not allowed to state my opinion" ...when literally no one said you couldn't. You assume alot. There may be a learning experience here. This place is an opportunity for you and me and everyone else to *learn* about our own personal assumptions. To quote you in your condescending way..."duh". This can be a great place to open your eyes or prove your theories....but its not going to work if you are closed minded or defensive everytime someone shows you a different way to think about something. (No one attacked you...i said to you if *you* think *you* are pathetic to be online dating...that is your opinion and not the opinion of most americans as Ive not seen that in print...that leaves you open to show us the articles or stats to where this is correct i guess <?>). You kinda attack yourself. (that is what i meant by one finger pointing out...three others back at you).
We can all learn from each other. No one is shoving things down your throat if you *come to* a message board. Make this the experience you want to GET something from. If you think you have something to teach "pathetic" people...well then...i guess i can decide to learn as well. So far I ive learned you have some kind of chip on your shoulder to have to say you that you are looking at online yet stay in a closet about it (lots has changed in the dating world since you were dating 8 years ago...embrace your ignorance, the inexperience because you weren't involved in OLD evolution and learn all about it now (there is that word again..meaning UNKNOWN or UNEXPOSED to information), that people doing online dating for the most part are overweight, unattractive, and with no initiative, and that when people disagree with what you put out there that you feeling that you can't further explain or "not allowed" to post. Your opinion is welcomed...just don't confuse it with fact. Your ego is welcomed but a humility when others are generous and knowledgable..humility in that you may not know everything and have something to learn...and no i dont mean you have to cater to or cower down. Understand by what i mean by humility...sometimes it means just to be gracious in understanding you don't know everything and listen rather than defend. Ive also learned that you *do* heed advice, albiet skeptically regarding the Nigeria thing .S elf awareness goes a long way. Me for instance...i know i write long posts that perhaps no one reads LOL or cares about LOLOL
How i deal with message boards? (note i am saying this IS how to deal with them..but rather how *I* deal with em). Take what is offered. Be kind in asking. Contribute what you want. Expect an opinion. Feel and revel in the freedom but don't abuse it. Its really that simple.
take a breath and breath the air of knowledge here...dats all i am sayin' =) Don't be so wound up...or you are going to wind up getting nothing out of this and alienating people who really are very generous, intelligent,goofy, isightful, frustrated, funny,inquisitive, sensible, senseless, oddball, warm, kind, cool, silly, and brash and yes, sometimes pathetic...and having a ball avoiding work a lot of the times. Join in!
Crap, I forgot sexy...they are a sexy bunch ;) (thats for those who actually read this entire lonnnnnnnnnnng winded post and got to the end) HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
Lizzie
Edited 8/27/2005 12:10 pm ET ET by lizzie1965
I read to the end, lizzie, and I am glad I took the time. You are absolutely right, I am a right sexy broad! Ask anyone.
Out of the many points you made (hee hee), one jumped out at me: what do I want to get from a message board? At first, I wanted to just read about various experiences people had with OLD. Then I would read something interesting and jump in with my Hallowed Opinion. Then I got knocked down a few times (i.e. my opinion was challenged). Then I had to think over my opinions and decide to either keep or discard.
In the process, I learned about myself. I learned how to convey respect for others with the written word. I learned not to react to manners of (written) speech, but to concentrate on the idea being conveyed to me.
Most importantly, I learned that nothing written here is ever personal. How can it be, when we've never met? It's all about what everyone thinks in a general way. Good, bad or indifferent, I can't seem to get enough of these posts!
kae n me, welcome to the board. I'm sure you are going to add to my daily amusement, and for that I thank you.
amjay
I think
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