not sure what to think??
Find a Conversation
not sure what to think??
| Thu, 08-25-2005 - 4:23pm |
Hi- I am new hear. I am a single mom to a 2year old son. I have never been married and his father and I broke up several months ago. Well, I started looking into the "on-line" thing back in June... Well, earlier this month I was contacted by this man... we exchanged emails and emailed each other each day for about a month and then last week we exchanged telephone numbers and this past Saturday we met and had lunch. I had a great time and he seemed to be interested... Well, I know I am jumping the gun on this, but he doesn't seem to be as email friendly as before. Now he has called me and texted me twice but I haven't heard from him since Tuesday and I just don't know what to think. Out of all the guys I have communicated with I like him the best. But I am the kind of person that if I don't get enough attention, then I lose interest... I mean come on,... I think a lot of women / men are like that. Anyway,... do I just leave it alone and wait for him to communicate with me? I don't want him to think I am not interested.... I did email him a short HI! this morning... but I haven't heard anything. DOn't guys know that if they don't pursue us we lose interest???
What should I do? I am new to this online dating thing.
What should I do? I am new to this online dating thing.

Pages
Good post...though some of us have met ;-).
Sheri
Edited 8/27/2005 12:17 pm ET ET by northwestwanderer
<<<>>
I still have to learn that one myself. But like i said i love learning =)
Lizzie
No, I haven't lost my mind, sheri! I really do remember meeting you: and thanks to that, I will never get the vision of Ichiro's bum out of my head!!! LOL
I was really referring to all the new people coming to the board and feeling put out by the plain *speaking* people they find.
Tee-hee...and as I mentioned, it's too bad we don't still have Cameron's fine booty to ogle, also.
I'm looking forward to going to see the Yankees when they are in town this week...hate them, of course, but there is one...Bernie Williams...whose butt I do love to look at ;-).
Oh, I'm bad ;-).
Sheri
<to: lizzie1965
date: Aug-27 10:14 pm
wow your dates must start late then. Wild night approaching! Rock on Kae! You go girl!
Hi Kae and welcome to our happy friendly family LOL!!
When I first found this board, I was a little put off by some people seeming to have a condescending know-it-all attitude.... but as I got to know them and had more experiences with OLD, I came to realize they are sharing pretty good advice based on their experience. If you don't agree with something, you might just stop to consider why. Is it possible they know something you don't? Is it possible their advice is misguided and doesn't apply to you? Sure, just give it a good think before jumping to judgements. I considered the wisdom of other people's experience and advice, took what I felt was right for me, and now I'm 4 months into a potentially permanent relationship. Go figure. ;)
Back to your original question about this guy... "I haven't heard from him since Tuesday and I just don't know what to think..... Don't guys know that if they don't pursue us we lose interest???" Well it's nice that you did finally hear from him. But yeah, I think some guys DO know we'll lose interest if they don't pursue us... but then, they also SEE that if they don't call or reply, we'll go nuts wondering what happened, we'll continue pursuing THEM, they'll give us just enough to hang on and we'll let them get away with it. Whatever patterns are established in the very beginning, is exactly what's likely to continue. If I was dealing with a guy like yours, I would consider this Strike 1. When you've been communicating every day and suddenly you don't hear from him for several days, he'd better be abducted or in the hospital or have a really good excuse and apology. When someone is genuinely interested, they don't just disappear. Three Strikes and you kick him to the curb. You can do better.
Just one of many ways to look at it, anyway.
In regards to OLD looking pathetic or like a last resort, most of us here would agree that is not true. A lot just depends on what kind of attitude you see among your circle of friends & family... and if YOU have a positive attitude about it, you just might be able to help THEM see it in a more positive way. I am also a 27 year old single mom who didn't really "date" much because I was often in LTR's... so I knew I had a lot to learn! I decided to try OLD partly because I'm just too busy between school, work, and parenting, I don't get out as much as I'd like, and my circle is all out of quality singles LOL. I figured it was a good way to meet people that I probably wouldn't have met otherwise. It's also nice to find hundreds of people, and filter for my basic criteria of age, distance, religion, politics, education etc. Then you get a picture and a profile to get a better sense of YOUR interest... some email communication to get a sense of THEIR interest... all this before you have to 'waste' any of your precious time in person with someone who you could tell isn't a good match. OLD is a Great Thing if you use it right!!
You said "i just don't think it's something that is widely accepted in my circle...My family thinks it is a sign of desperation." Well we can't decide what's right for ourselves if we're too concerned about what other people think. Just like this board. Listen to someone's opinion, compare it against your own, decide if it's right for you. It may turn out that OLD is NOT for you and that's fine too, but don't let anyone else decide that for you. :)
Ya know, you might also consider how ready you are for dating again. You're just a couple months out of an 8 year relationship with the father of your child?... you might find that you need some time on your own, to be happy with yourself before you're ready to get involved with anyone else. Just something to think about.
But I do appreciate your words.
But my desire to be dating right now is a good thing. I have been single for about seven months and I know what I want and won't settle for less. I think that is what is important.
Kae, I'm new here too, and know that generally some people I know would be more supportive of my online dating than others.
Pages