now what?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2009
now what?
4
Mon, 08-17-2009 - 5:12pm

Ok, so I posted a profile. And have gotten some responses. But also went out of my way to check other people out.


I actually hit it off email-wise with a guy I dont think I would have even noticed in person.


He seems really great.


He stopped replying the other day and I dont know if he's just busy.


on another note:


I didnt post a picture. Do you think I should send it to him, even though he hasnt asked for it?


Do you think I should send it to guys who ask for it in their first email to me (with not much else said)?


My whole premise in not posting it was that I didnt want to get the wrong kind of attention. I wanted someone to get to know me before deciding I was 'doable' by just looking at my picture.


I think we rely on looks and physical attraction too much when first getting to know people.


Im not worried about sending it though- Im at least a 7 or 8, IMO.


 KRYSTYN 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2008
In reply to: milf74
Mon, 08-17-2009 - 7:54pm

Personally I always included a pic, as shallow as it sounds...I could LOVE you online than meet you in person and be physically completely turned off and feel a bit angry about it. Ya it sucks but its true...it happened to me a couple times actually.


Anyway, ya he could be busy and no...dont send the pic until he asks, or you could offer to "trade" pics.


Photobucket



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
In reply to: milf74
Tue, 08-18-2009 - 8:12am

I just had a guy stop responding after about 5 emails. Don't know why, he seemed nice, but sometimes it happens. He even gave me his personal email address because he had gone off the OLD site. I find that once they stop communicating, it's done, though one guy just got back in touch with a plausible excuse for not emailing: he had just lost his job and was a little freaked out. No problem there.

You need to get over the visual thing, frankly. I agree with you in principal, but when you think about it, if a really gross, smelly guy approached you in a bar, you probably wouldn't give him the time of day, even if he is the most wonderful man on earth. That is reality. A picture gives you a mental picture of who you are talking to.

In my experience, people without pictures have fallen into the following categories: married and playing around, control freaks, perpetual e-mailers (those not interested in actually meeting, or are more in love with the OLD process than people).

Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
In reply to: milf74
Tue, 08-18-2009 - 9:53am

No I wouldn't send your pic to the guy who stopped responding. If he turns up again soon and you decide to keep communicating, then yes.

I'm a guy and I am much more apt to read a profile with a pic, rather than one without. Yes I think this means that the stunning womens profiles probably get viewed and read quite often. I don't email anyone based solely on their looks, there has to be something there. Yes probably if you post a pic you will get guys contacting based on your looks but thats just the way it is. The stunning women get hit on the most at the bar too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2006
In reply to: milf74
Fri, 08-28-2009 - 3:35am
I wanted someone to get to know me before deciding I was 'doable' by just looking at my picture.


I think we rely on looks and physical attraction too much when first getting to know people.


I think you're dreaming. That's how guys are wired- visually.


Post a picture. You'll get far more responses.