An observation of OLD
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| Tue, 10-31-2006 - 10:35am |
I will try to put this into words as best I can and I'm not going to bash online dating. For me it has been a VERY useful way of meeting more men. I have gone on so many dates in the past 2 months, it's almost crazy. However I only went on a second date with ONE of these people and i was never that into him in the first place.
To me getting contacted by someone on OLD is sort of like getting approached by someone at a bar or at the gym, etc. You might sorta like this person who approaches you online, think they are cute, seem nice so you go out with them. Now in a bar per se it is much easier to weed this person out than it is to do online. If you dont feel a vibe face to face, you can end the conversation and it's that simple. But online you take time and effort to go out and meet this person, and if you dont like them as soon as you see them (Whether it be by personality or looks) well you've already taken the time to drive to meet them, in my case you've paid for parking, fought traffic in the city to get to them and now have to sit through a drink or meal with them and have a possibly boring conversation
THIS has been my problem with OLD. It takes EFFORT. Standing there in the real world and having someone come up to you does not take effort. You politely say no thanks when approached or you give them your number. Youve already had your first face to face meeting right then and there and i guess that is so important. Online, you can really only sort of guess, hmm, what is this person like in real life...right now i'm only reading a profile and looking at a picture that could look not much like this person. Or perhaps there are great people i'm turning down on line when in real life i'd really like them!
I might be sounding confusing right now...i'm sure i am. All i know is that i have spent a lot of money on gas mileage meeting people, paying for parking, and like i said, sometimes knowing right off the bat, ugh, I am so not into this person, now i have to sit here for about an hour talking to them!
BUT if i take myself offline...i wont be meeting nearly as many people...especially because so many of my friends are lame and dont go out much these days (:

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I just want to let you know that I understand your need to vent. It gets tiring, it really does. I've been there more than once or twice or even 5 times. I know what you mean about having to get ready, drive go out and make an actual effort to meet someone and then that person turns out to be someone who you dont' feel a mutual connection with. This is why OLD gets so tiring. It really is like finding a needle in a haystack. I have had a friend who has been dating for 5 years with no luck and she is a very friendly, smart, beautiful woman, so you are not alone by any means and I was dating for over a year before finding this person that I seem to connect with but I will never really know either what will happen with this. This is why it's important to take breaks when you feel as if you are over your head in frustration with dating. It's important to take care of yourself first and foremost and try your hardest to get back into it with a clear head once you've taken a break and focused on other things. I was really throwing my hands up in the air and on my way to taking a couple month break from OLD when I decided to email one last man before my subscription expired and then this guy showed up so you never know......I was so far gone with frustration that I felt I needed to take that break and I was fine with it. It was a decision I made and had decided to stick to even if I hadn't met this guy. I know this sounds lame but I cried when I cancelled my subscription because I thought that I was just giving up and leaving it to god but didn't trust that giving up would get me anywhere. But all you have to do is trust and have faith, easier said than done but it's all any of us can do in life really....
well if there are parties going on, I aint being invited...oh wait sorry, i'm being invited to wine parties where it's all girls who go on about their SO or pocket book parties. GUess i'm not as cool as I used to be (:
I"d write more...but i have to give out candy
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