an observation
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 06-01-2006 - 10:03am |
I was reading user reviews of a popular online dating site, and I found the men's comments to be very interesting. They kept complaining that the women don't want to meet, or they're psycho, or they're too obese to be considered "dateable". I have several female friends who are online dating right now. The really fun, stable ones who are bigger than a size 8 and not super model gorgeous struggle to find guys who will respond. I myself have sent out countless emails to guys with few responses, or guys send a rejection form email back. My one friend who is very thin and pretty but nuts and a total flirt gets dates constantly. She gets half a dozen "winks" a day, and guys are falling all over her. However, by date 2, it becomes apparent that she's nuts (or she confesses that she still sees her ex on a regular basis), and then they're mad.
I'm wondering if all the guys who complain about online dating are hitting on the same dozen size 4 gorgeous women, and then whining when those women turn out to be psycho, too busy, or empty-headed. Online dating seems to be based mostly on looks, in my experience.

Pages
I don't really mind so much - it's everyone's choice who they're attracted to.
But what I hate is hearing the whining and/or the lame pathetic excuses presented when suddently that person IS attractive and NOW that other person is interested. Just come out and say why you wouldn't go out with me. And THAT's precisely why I won't go out with them now.
Why do thin women always feel the need to defend their intelligence!
I dont feel it is the same with thin/athletic good looking men. It is as if there are two categories of women dumb size 2 women and the interesting overweight ones!
This is retarded steriotyping! smart women are healthy ones who take care of their appearance as much of their intellect!
I m a size 2 woman (because I want to be not because I have to) and have 2 masters degrees and always had the best marks in school and still at work I have to proove myself with every freaking client/boss simply because I take care of how I look! Had I looked like a geek I m sure I would be given the benefit of doubt!
If men are promoting this steriotype because they are threatened by smart good looking women, we , women should not fall for this. Women can be ugly and smart, pretty and smart, pretty and dumb and finally ugly and dumb yet they still have the privilege to give a life! I do prefer smart good looking people but I have to admit DUMB has it is advantages. Have you ever had a dumb friend? I think they are the most amuzing regardless of their looks :)
I quit OLD a few months ago but still like to pop in to read about how everyone is doing once in a while. When I was on lavalife, I would chat online with a person for a week or two before I even considered meeting. At first I would chat with individuals with a backstage and no profile pic if they sounded interesting. Unfortunately, the self-described attractive fit man would often turn out to look more like my father than a potential date when I saw a pic. One of the first men I chatted with online gave a few clues that he was a controller and when I declined to meet early on put a significant amount of pressure on me to meet. After a few time, I called him on it and moved on. I believe a fair number of the men that are complaining about women playing games or wanting a pen pal are likely just turning off the women during chats and possibly phone conversations and don't recognize that they are the problem. It is easier for them to assume the women are flakes than that they are not presenting well.
Just my two cents...
Pages