October's Challenge
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October's Challenge
| Sat, 09-30-2006 - 4:08pm |
Let's change our outlooks...
There's been a lot of talk about what our OLD dates don't do. Let's try to change our focus and look at what they do do.
In the next month, I'd like to keep hope (and this thread) alive. Post about what your dates are doing and how they're impressing you. It doesn't matter if it's only one meet and you never see them again. But as many experts have advised, you reap what you sow. So maybe if we're looking for positives, we'll be reaping more positive experiences...
Who's up for the challenge?


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I had mentioned to one guy that I kept on losing front bike lights to theft, falling off, etc, and he, who also bicycle commutes, gave me a new light on our third date.
This one guy, who I have been dating now for a couple of months, volunteered an extra shift in horrible weather conditions in order to get me a free ticket to an outdoor concert.
One guy, who ended up not being interested in me, offered up front (and thus defusing awkwardness) to buy me lunch when we discovered we were both hungry and instead of just paying for coffee.
I would like to hear positive tales about LONG TERM dating from the personals sites. I know a lot of gals are optimistic when they first meet someone, but usually it doesn't last very long.
How about some success stories that end up in marriage from OLD?
I have had 2 long term relationships from OLD. Both were from Match.com. The first one lasted 1 year, we were both going through divorces, both had kids and he traveled quite a bit for work, so it was tough in the beginning to plan dates when we were both available. After a few months we both felt comfortable meeting each others kids. We took long weekend trips and a week ski trip and lots of really fun dates. I finalized my divorce while we were dating while he was still dealing with his. In the end he decided that he wanted to see other people (I think he was intimidated by me, he is looking for someone he can "take care of" and I am much too independent for that). We still talk every 6 months or so.
The second relationship lasted 2 years. He was 6 years younger than me, but I was younger than his ex. He is a very sweet guy (veterinarian) with 2 young daughters. His divorce was not final when we started dating. He was entirely different than the first guy, was not good and making plans so it felt like I was always planning the dates. We were very comfortable with each other and started spending almost every night together either at his place or mine. In the end I broke his heart :( He was talking marriage but after thinking long and hard I could not see myself with him for the rest of my life.
So, OLD does work, I know people that have met and married from Match.com, I just have not found my prince charming yet.
Well I doubt the success stories are still hanging around here, but I have some secondhand stories to relate.
1. One woman at work met her husband online. They were both about to graduate from college and both realized that they had spent their entire time studying and had missed out on the dating experience and so both tried Match.com for a short time (she actually was given internet as a present in order to do this.) She said that he was upfront about what he was looking for. They dated for 3 years (including some of the middle time semi-long distance (weekend dating only) before getting married.
2. An acquaintance of mine met her husband (both in their late 20s at the time) through Craigslist. He, a computer geek, just decided one day he wanted to find someone. So he wrote a very detailed description of who he was and who he was looking for. She was like the 20th person he met (and so probably wasn't his immediate first choice based on her initial email and picture).
3. My uncle (62, divorced with grown children) met his fiance (56, divorced, late teen to college-age children) met on Match.com. They are not married due to her wanting a Catholic wedding and needed annullments (she's starting to give up on that), but they live together, have fully integrated their lives, and she has an engagement ring. As an aside, they got together desptite my uncle lying about his age to meet younger women (would date women 15 years younger regularly). She contacted him even though she was at his upper age limit (which was his stated made-up age) and somewhat obese (not his stated preference) and it has worked out beautifully for them.
4. I know 3 Indian-American women (in their late 20s, early 30s) who met their husbands on Indian matrimonial sites (but they really dated). One is getting a divorce, but the other two are happily married and one has a baby.
i agree, i have 3 close friends who met their spouse online and a few others in serious RL's.
I dont understand why people thinking meeting someone online is soo different than meeting someone in person. FOr me it hasnt been. Big deal if you first see their pic online...if you are talking you usually meet up with in a few days or weeks and there ya go...you get to see them and if you dont like them, no biggie, you just dont go out with them again.
Great idea, I'm definitely up for the challenge. I feel like I've been so rigid lately and it's getting old! Since being on hiatus I've gotten so cynical and bitter, that it feels as if I've forgotten how to just enjoy the moment, the hour or the day, and let it go!
Great challenge idea!!! I'm so there to be POSITIVE and upbeat!! It's the way I prefer to be!!
Sheri, I'm so happy to hear this! I've read your posts for over a year and I've thought to myself "now here is a quality woman!"
You GO girl! Keep us posted!!
Chick
Thank you! That's so nice of you to say so, it means a lot to me.
Sheri
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