Is this odd? It seems so to me...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2004
Is this odd? It seems so to me...
22
Wed, 11-22-2006 - 12:20pm

So I finally posted my picture on Yahoo and now I'm getting tons of responses, which makes me feel a bit better about internet dating. I was getting one message a month before.

This guy emails me and tells me he likes my profile. I read his and from his pictures and his stats find him very attractive, but am not sure what to make of his "about me" part. He seems to have done a lot of internet dating and has been burned by women who are late for dates, dress like bag ladies on the first date, etc. He goes on to describe exactly what he wants and if you don't match that, go to the next profile.

I'm kind of intrigued so I email him back and we chatted on the phone last night. Here's where it gets kind of odd. He's very personable, nice guy, but he says he wants to put it out on the table that when a woman dates him, she has to be ready to be intimate (as he puts it) with him by the 4th or 5th date. He says he feels used if she dates him forever and doesn't sleep with him.

I told him I couldn't promise I'd have an intimate relationship with him by the 4th or 5th date, that I just don't always know how I feel about someone that quickly and that the guys who have hurt me the most in my life have been the ones who have rushed the early part of the relationship.

He says he shouldn't have to suffer the sins of his fathers. I say I shouldn't have to suffer the sins of my mothers. He says he's just putting it out there how he feels, that it makes him feel used and unattractive if a woman wants to just date forever with no intimacy. He also says a huge number of women have no sex drive. He wants lots of sex, which is fine with me, IF I like him that way.

Thoughts on this guy? He says in his profile that he has no baggage....he also says the ball's in my court now. Oddly enough, I'm feeling pressured.

Chick

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-22-2006 - 8:37pm

Ah, yes, the good old "you must hate sex/be frigid/be terrible in bed if you want to actually get to KNOW a man before you sleep with them" stereotype.

Oy.

Sorry you had to go through that. Responses like that are one of the reasons people ghost, or block people immediately after sending a "thanks but no thanks" email.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Wed, 11-22-2006 - 9:30pm

Glad you followed your instincts and this guy is a CAD!

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
Thu, 11-23-2006 - 1:56am
What!? Uh, yeah, I'd feel pressured, too. How untactful, and NOT classy to say all that upfront in that fashion in your very first convo. What a jerk. How can you fall in love with someone who talks like that immediately. Sounds like he's skipping a few important steps.
You're better than that! I would move on quicker than I can bat an eyelash.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2003
Thu, 11-23-2006 - 6:25pm
I'm always very leary of men that are concerned about the frigidity of women. I believe studies have shown that few women are actually uninterested in having a good sex life. Perhaps it isn't that all of these women don't want to have sex, they just don't want to have it with him. If a man is a good lover, he usually doesn't have a problem.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2005
Fri, 11-24-2006 - 10:00am
Gosh, don't you sometimes just want to write a really nasty response back to these guys? Especially once you've found someone great who didn't pressure you, and he's still out there looking for sex in 5 dates or less? Ick. What a jerk!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 11-24-2006 - 7:26pm
RUN FAST!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 11-24-2006 - 7:26pm
LOVE it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 11-24-2006 - 7:28pm
If he WERE intelligent, he would be so STUPID as to say THAT to a woman!!!
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Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 11-24-2006 - 7:30pm
All I can say is "YOU DODGED A BULLET".

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2004
Sat, 11-25-2006 - 10:44am

Rebecca, thanks for your advice. I agree, he's a nut.

I just thought of something. The whole thing, if we keep in the stereotypical mode here, is akin to me saying to HIM on our first phone conversation "if I don't have an engagement ring by month 6, I'm walking, because only men who can commit to me that quickly are serious about commitment."

Har! What a dork fish....