Oh brother...

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Oh brother...
16
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 9:38pm

So, because I guess I must be either an incurable optimist or an incurable masochist ;-), I put another ad on CL last week and have been fielding responses. I also responded to a handful of ads I thought sounded promising. I talked on the phone a week ago with one of the guys whose ad I responded to (same day he posted the ad) and it was a good conversation. We talked about meeting some time this weekend but beyond an email early last week saying it was nice to talk to me and he'd be in touch, I didn't hear anything so I figured he'd ghosted.

But no...last night at 10:15 PM as I was driving home from performing with my choir, my phone rings. I didn't recognize the number so I didn't pick up and I'm SO glad I didn't--turns out it was this guy. He left a voicemail saying that he appreciated me answering his ad but he'd met someone very special so he wouldn't be meeting me.

Can you imagine if I'd actually picked up how awkward that conversation would have been? I can't believe he thought it was appropriate to call me at 10:15 PM on a Sat night to tell me he'd met someone else when we haven't even met yet.

But on the plus side, I have had a couple decent coffee meets...of course the guy I really liked hasn't called (and it's been a week, oh well), but another guy I think has some potential asked me out for dinner Friday night during our coffee meet yesterday so that's something. And I'm at the phone stage and trying to schedule coffee meets with a couple other guys.

Onward and upward...but I thought you'd all appreciate this story ;-).

Sheri

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 10:07pm

Wow - an actual phone call to tell you that! That's, ummm, bold? I had a similar situation on eHarmony once where a guy claimed he was too busy to meet me because he had class every night and was out of town for the weekend but when I emailed to confirm the first meet we'd set up for Tuesday told me that he'd met someone else and since he was a "one woman guy" he couldn't meet me. At least an email is less awkward than a phone call or even a voicemail! Whatever.

And I'm with you on either an incurable optimist or a masochist - I also posted another ad on CL after many months away. So far I've gotten two repeats including a guy that uses exclamation points at the end of each sentence and a guy that is pathetically unattractive. The response rate has also been pretty dismal. I posted this afternoon and past posts in the first 4-5 hours would have gotten 30+ responses. This time I have about 15. The latest is a guy that I truly hope that English is his second language because the grammar and spelling are so atrocious that if it's not... Wow.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 10:27pm

Yeah, I can't believe he thought a phone call was a good idea.

I definitely had fewer responses this time than when I've posted in the past--it could be because of the time of year, I'm thinking. Anyway, I hope you at least get a good meet or two out of it.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 11:26pm

It is amazing what must go through some people's minds at times. What would possess someone to think that it was a good idea to call a woman they have never met to tell her that he's met someone else. Sigh...

Well, so far, I'm not counting on even any good first meets. I've got the guy who cannot spell or speak properly, a couple with no pictures, one that sent a picture of him pretty cozy with a woman and a couple more that I don't find at all attractive. Leaving maybe one or two that are moderately interesting. Not good numbers so far. My optimism is waning fast.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 11:30pm
Now I have the guy that can't seem to attach his picture. THREE TIMES. Three strikes, you're out.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Mon, 12-04-2006 - 8:35am
Not that it amounts to anything worth a hill of beans, but I bet it doesn't work out with this "special someone" he met.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Mon, 12-04-2006 - 8:38am

Argh!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
Mon, 12-04-2006 - 9:23am

Pathetically unattractive? As CL of this board I would expect you to set an example and choose your words better when describing someone. Just because you didn't find him attractive DOES NOT MEAN that he was "pathetically" unattractive.

Shame on you!!

F

I just saw the post where you stepped down......I still stand by the fact that you need to choose your words better.




Edited 12/4/2006 9:28 am ET by fluffybuttdiva
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
Mon, 12-04-2006 - 9:25am

Sheri,

In a strange sort of way you have to respect that he was so honest and upfront with you. I agree, however; that his timing sucked.

I wish all men would let us know the true reason why they are choosing not to continue seeing us. Even if it's something we don't want to hear.

F

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Mon, 12-04-2006 - 9:40am

Definitely a good move in not taking the call. What a maroon. I also agree with the poster who bets his new "relationship" fizzles out.

My recent CL ad yielded a repeat guy who again ghosted when I asked for a photo (he did this after my last ad too). I did have two dates with one dude who was all hot and heavy before we even met, was still eager after the first date but of course he ghosted after the second. I wasn't surprised, or that disappointed since I wasn't gaga over him. It's just annoying in the way that I'm finding dating in general to be annoying these days.

I'm sure I'll post another CL ad, but I'll probably wait until after the holidays. I'm on hiatus :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Mon, 12-04-2006 - 11:39am

Oh, yes, I love the ones who ghost when you ask them for a picture.

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