Oh geez.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2004
Oh geez.....
10
Sat, 05-07-2005 - 5:10pm

I just got an email from a guy who I never had a discussion with before, not through email or on the phone.

He wanted to get together TONIGHT.....that's crazy. Just one sentence,....Do you want to get together tonight.

Incidentally, I remembered after receiving his email that he did the same thing with me a year ago when I was online. I had forgotten who he was until he did it again....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
In reply to: shazzy1960
Sat, 05-07-2005 - 6:57pm
Give him your neightbor's address (you know the one with the big rotweiller) and tell him you need to see him about 2am and that if the door is not open he can bang loudly and you'll come down...
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: shazzy1960
Sun, 05-08-2005 - 4:41pm
I've had that happen once or twice too. A few weeks ago, a guy that was very not my type (and that was very clear in my profile) emailed me with something like "I have tickets to the Mavs game tonight. Would you like to go?" Ummmm, no! I just sent an email back of "thanks but no thanks" and blocked him. Either he thought I was desperate, stupid or he just wasn't thinking at all. Regardless, yeah, never a good move for the guy to ask the girl out before you have even had any communication at all.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: shazzy1960
Mon, 05-09-2005 - 1:25pm
I've gotten a couple of those myself. One guy says "My match.com date just cancelled. Would you like to take her place?" He sent me this twice within a month. The second time I emailed him back telling him no for both times. I also recently got one from a 29yo that said, "Want to have some afternoon fun?" I didn't reply to that ... Some people are just like not thinking straight, weird, dumb, crazy or all of the above.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
In reply to: shazzy1960
Mon, 05-09-2005 - 3:47pm
But be honest, what do they have to lose by asking? worst is everyone they approach says no, best case; they actually get a 'yes' . They're working the system and getting their money's worth!

A man's got to do what a man's got to do.
A woman must do what he can't.

MS
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: shazzy1960
Mon, 05-09-2005 - 4:04pm

But what woman in her right mind is actually going to meet a guy that she has never even spoken to or even had an email conversation with?? So if a guy that I might have otherwise been interested in asks me out without even an introductory email, I will turn him down flat. If we email and talk on the phone a couple of times, I will be much more inclined to meet him.

I sincerely doubt that that tactic would ever work except if both people are looking for a hook up only. Instead, what might have been a good guy is not going to even get looked at as a serious date because of his "overeager" attitude.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2004
In reply to: shazzy1960
Mon, 05-09-2005 - 5:35pm

"What do they have to lose by asking?"

A potential date, partner, ltr.....That approach turns people off quite easily.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
In reply to: shazzy1960
Mon, 05-09-2005 - 8:34pm
But that's my point - if they ask something like that chances are they aren't interested in a LTR or anything remotely committed, just using the site as a source of potential contacts.


A man's got to do what a man's got to do.
A woman must do what he can't.

MS
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2004
In reply to: shazzy1960
Mon, 05-09-2005 - 9:03pm
Ok, good point :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
In reply to: shazzy1960
Mon, 05-09-2005 - 10:40pm

>>Either he thought I was desperate, stupid or he just wasn't thinking at all.<<

I don't really understand this. Believe it or not, there are a LOT of guys who totally live moment to moment, without really worrying about stuff and planning it out.

It's assuming too much to figure that a guy thinks you're desperate just because he asks you out on short notice. It's a lot more likely that he's just, you know, a guy, and thought you were kinda cute and figured "what the heck, why not ask?"

And without picking on vex in particular here, I have noticed a general tendency for many of us doing OLD to all-too-often assume the worst behind people's motivations and thoughts.

Especially women; you guys frequently assign thoughts and beliefs to guys that are, well, very female.

Please don't forget, ladies, that guys are (by and large) idiots. I'm a guy but I'm comfortable admitting my idiotness. If I ask a gal out for that night, it doesn't mean I think she's desperate; it means I can't plan for squat. If I don't call for three days, it might well be because it was March Madness and the weekend was taken up with college basketball 24X7. We're dorks that way.

There's stuff that means we're not into you, and then there's stuff that just means we're nitwits. :)

Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: shazzy1960
Mon, 05-09-2005 - 11:48pm
>>There's stuff that means we're not into you, and then there's stuff that just means we're nitwits. :)


I nominate this for quote of the month, and might I suggest expanding on it:



"He IS Into You, But He's Still Just A Dumb Guy" coming soon to a bookstore near you...