Oh my...OLD is gettingOLD!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Oh my...OLD is gettingOLD!
27
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 6:00pm

ACK!!! I think old is really a tough place, we all know it....but it is sooo frustrating and deceiving too! Only 1 of 4 have looked like their pictures so far! Some have been so disappointing, it is not funny. Today, the guy I met (he did finally call and want to meet, even after ignoring me on the IM the other day) today was not as nice looking as one would think from his pictures, but not only that, he had a bad attitude...really was over-upset with being stuck in traffic....and then wanted a "drink" badly...and still seemed to be almost angry because I told him I had met other people from OLD and might continue to see one guy. We walked as we talked...He said he wanted a one on one and not a dating people thing...I said, yeah, I want that too....but you have to get to know people first to know if you want to be one on one with them....He agreed. But he gave me sarcastic looks right off the bat....seemed angry. I called him on it an said we are having the drink and leaving (the restaurant). I put up with no *stuff* in that regard with anger over nothing and attitudes. Who needs it?
I spoke to my favorite guy online. But he too is probaby *really* going to be history sometime soon....No really...I mean it. ;)

Sara

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2005
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 11:13am
lol. I think I only had 1 guy completely misrepresent himself "photo/image-wise".
He lied and said he was a back-up dancer for J.LO (yeah right) and Christina Aguilera. So
in my mind I'm thinking "Cool. he should be in good shape, have a nice muscular, sculpted bod". He gets over to my house, not only is he not very cute, but he's overweight with a large belly.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2005
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 11:19am

...also I wanted to ad, that one guy "winked" at me, and he was currently living with his spouse AND had children...lol. Somehow, a date would not possibly work b/w us.

What are they guys thinking?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 11:34am

You had a guy come to your house? On a first meet? I hope this is something you no longer do, for safety reasons!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 1:47pm
He's keeping his options open...the more ladies he's got on his MSN the more popular he feels. It's an ego thing. He'll be back...maybe tomorrow, next week, next month, never. Question is: are you willing to stick around for THAT? Can't totally fault the guy though because that's what so many people do in cyberspace...juggle connections.
Until you've met (online connections in general, not this guy) and some kind of real life interaction begins, it's a mistake to fall into that trap of having any expectations at all. People disappear for a many number of reasons and it usually has nothing to do with you.
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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 5:11pm

Why not just take him off your own list if it bothers you to see him? You can't control HIS actions, but you can control yours. Unless you block him, he can always get back in touch with you, so you won't be missing out on anything except the stress.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 9:53am

Well, we talked online again the other night. Apparently he has been super busy with work (has been working longer hours), and not even getting online here lately. He's also a single Dad with 2 young (13, 15) teenage boys. Maybe I expect too much too soon from men in general. I just thought it was odd that we went for several days without any communication from him. Maybe I am always bracing myself for a fall or disappointment. That is what happens when you've been let down as many times as I have.

However, I am going to remove two others guys from my list who are no longer "options" for me. Even if the one guy I had hoped would contact me eventually does, it is much too late and I'd run the risk of him "bailing" a third time. Not going to chance it.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 10:01am

Mitsy, you're in your 40s, correct (I apologize if I'm confusing you with someone else)? I would really urge you to stop IM'ing people...my experience is that men in our age group who are into IM'ing are NOT really interested in actually *dating*...they either want notches on their belt or they just want to chat.

You may have better luck if you keep interaction to email or phone (or real life, best of all).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 10:05am
That would be well and good IF there were viable men to date locally. There isn't, so that is why I was even doing the OLD deal to begin with. Since the instant msg. thing seems to be the "norm" for communication, I don't mind using it. In fact, it can be fun, however, it is always a crapshoot on whether the guy is serious about meeting, dating, etc. Of course, there are risks in meeting people the "regular" way. Blind dates and set-ups have been disastrous for me. Don't even get me started. :0


Edited 10/27/2005 10:09 am ET by mitsy2
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 10:13am

Well, that's just my point...even with OLD, it's NOT the norm, at least among men in our age group who are sincere about taking it to real life and actually dating. I don't IM, and I still find people from OLD sites to date. Since I stopped IM'ing, my ratio of emails to meets has become MUCH higher. I think it weeds out at least some of the players and most of the "looky loos".

I would just say no when someone wants to add you to his buddy list...keep it to email and then move to the phone and/or real life.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2005
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 11:14am
I agree with Sheri about IMing. I've found it to be a huge waste of time as well. A lot of the guys would rather just chat online for hours on end than actually meet. I don't believe it's just a problem for the 40+ men, either. I know I've wasted my time IMing with guys younger than that. It's a good piece of advice.