Ok everybody, here's the thing
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Ok everybody, here's the thing
| Thu, 10-06-2005 - 3:38pm |
It's not that the fact GG didn't take down his profile is irrelevant.
| Thu, 10-06-2005 - 3:38pm |
It's not that the fact GG didn't take down his profile is irrelevant.
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It makes perfect sense to me. Take things one day at a time.
Regardless of the outcome, you can feel good that you attracted a very nice man in your life. That means you can do it again!
Ok, I understand better now where you are coming from...but to me, the issue of whether he's "into" you and whether he has integrity and keeps his word are two separate issues. A guy can be "into you" but still not be someone who keeps his word, and vice versa.
I would want to know NOW if he is not a person who keeps his word. If he's not, it wouldn't matter so much whether he was into me or not, because he would have shown me that he's not trustworthy (i.e., I can't trust him to keep his word), and I'd need to overcome that issue before being able to continue in the relationship.
It's not a matter of mixed signals, it's about doing what you said you were going to do, when you said you were going to do it.
Sheri
But asking him is not going to prove that he's trustworthy.
Yes, I can and will do it again if I have to.
That could happen, but he could also come clean and admit that he didn't take it down despite saying he would do so (and explain his reasoning), if he's fundamentally a good guy who just messed up on this.
I agree that asking him isn't going to prove he's trustworthy, but it will give him an opportunity to come clean or correct an honest mistake. And if he does lie, you'll most likely see other evidence of his dishonesty soon enough.
I think whatever his response is, it will tell you a lot about him and what type of person he is.
The other reason I would ask is because I know myself well enough to know that I would act weird around him until I'd resolved the issue. But that may not be an issue for you.
Sheri
I guess that's the thing.
I'm sorry, Jennie, but this is clearly a very simple matter, but you are putting way too much thought process into it. The bottom line, is you both agreed on taking down your profile. You did it! Simple, Easy. Yes.
Yes, he may ghost or eventually remove the profile but the bottom line is you both had a discussion about removing each other's respective profile. What's the problem? Did you need much thought process in removing your profile?
Now, in regards to him, you are creating scenarios, choose not to ask him about it (because you may be making too much of it -- or just let's see how this plays out while in the interim I'll feel insecure) when in fact the easiest way to handle this is to just ask!!! I can guarantee you, he may say, Oh I'm sorry I forgot, or I have not been online to remove it!! If after a few days, he still has NOT removed his profile, then you need to repost your profile and/or move on!!
Jennie in any relationship, there will be bigger things to ponder, but this one is NOT it!! Either he is a man of his words, or he is not! What does this scenario tell you??
when was the last time he called you???
I hope he doesn't ghost...but even I would have to wonder about that if I hadnt heard from him since sunday.....
On a note of what might be happening if he hasnt called since sunday...in my book that nobody likes "men and venus on a date", the author explains that men are like rubberbands. when a man experierences increasing intimacy, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer. he goes on to explain that this may happen many times during a relationship and each time it happens the man will love the woman more and the need to pull away will diminish. he also explains that this tendancy to pull away is the most extreme when a man experiences intimacy before he is ready. (or in my opinion/experience if he experiences intimacy before he has earned it or before the bond is great enough) the author says that if this pull away happens before the man has experienced enough "love" then the rubberband breaks. the author explains that when a man is pulling away that the woman should resist the urge to pursue....So take what you want from this information...just another pov on what could be happening......
I would be more worried about when I heard from him last and what your weekend plans with him are then if he did or didnt take down his profile. If you have talked with him and have plans for this weekend then I would not sweat the profile...if you havent heard from him and have no plans...I would be finding some, even if it was taking your dtr to the park and having a playdate. Do something fun and get your mind off of him....
We've just played phone tag this week.
There's the problem. You feel as if he will ghost anyway, so no sense in bringing this up cause then he will be gone sooner! Fear of the unknown. Don't make him accountable, cause he may feel pressured and run away!
I don't know the answer to this question! But if you are feeling this way, unfortunately this relationship will not grow! You will have to be able to effectively communicate in a relationship. I would agree with your therapist about not bringing it up but I would not be dealing with this guy because he didn't keep his word or do what he said he was going to do. Regardless, I would not be seeing him exclusively!!
Possibly this is not the right time for you to pursue an exclusive relationship???
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