The OLD Gods were smilin on Lou this W/E

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
The OLD Gods were smilin on Lou this W/E
37
Mon, 09-19-2005 - 11:53am

Hello All!


I started talking to a guy last weekend.

CL-Truewild1969

For further information regarding OLD including FAQ please visit our OLD Website at;

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2003
Tue, 09-20-2005 - 3:32pm

Not that I feel the need to defend myself..

No backlash Steph, just facts... My daughter is 25 so it wasn't like bringing him home to meet a young child. She's my best critic and trust me she can be tough so I value her opinion. She will pick apart someone down to how they tie their shoes. In 4 years she's only met 3 men that I've dated. So don't judge me, without knowing more about me.

I'm proceeding with cautious optimism, I'm 50 years old and have been around the block more than once and believe me I know that tomorrow the sidewalk could open and I could fall in a hole. Until that happens I enjoy each day like it was the last...because you just never know when it will be.

As the old saying goes.."if it feels good, do it".

Edited to add.. I once lived in Florida and met a man who lived in KY, we corresponded by phone and snail mail (no email in 1977), he visited me twice during that time and after 5 mos we married... our marriage lasted 25 years. Nuff said...




Edited 9/20/2005 3:43 pm ET ET by libraclass
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Tue, 09-20-2005 - 3:36pm

Well sometimes it is always good to remain grounded....but sometimes you just have to go with what feels right.

CL-Truewild1969

For further information regarding OLD including FAQ please visit our OLD Website at;

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Tue, 09-20-2005 - 3:38pm

HMM that is very fast, but every situation is different as long as your emotions are in check..

People earn my trust and it that doesn't happen overnight..

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2003
Tue, 09-20-2005 - 3:56pm
Thanks Peanut! You're right, neither of us have met any great men in a while so we are enjoying the ride right now. If one or both of us fall, we'll help dust each other off, get up and say.....NEXT!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Tue, 09-20-2005 - 4:03pm

JOdi-- just to comment on your comment -
Yes I agree-- Take a chance/ risk!!! I don't think anyone here was implying not to go for it just to stay grounded and realistic!
It's better to love than never to have loved.. right??

and remember ROME WASN'T BUILT IN A DAY! healthy quality r'ships build overtime!!

glad you guys had some good dates!!! good news on this board!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2003
Tue, 09-20-2005 - 4:16pm

I agree trust doesn't happen overnight, it's about getting to know each other and that takes time. A lot of ground was covered in a short period of time (3 dates) and a lot more has to be covered...there's plenty of time for that. IMHO..it's not about how long it takes you to get to know someone, it's about how well you comprehend what you are learning about them as you go.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-20-2005 - 4:19pm

This isn't directed so much at you, Libra, as just a general response to this topic:

Ah, yes, that famous 20/20 hindsight ;-). I married a guy I slept with on a first date...doesn't mean I think it's a smart thing to do now though! I just think it's ironic that any time a slight caution to slow down is posted, it's almost always met with "well, I went fast before and it worked out ok" or "I have a friend who went fast and it worked out ok" (not just you, Libra...I'm just saying that seems to be the general response whenever it comes up).

I don't know about any of you, but I'd say my batting average for taking things fast is about 10 or 15 to 1 (didn't work out vs. worked out), and I think that's pretty par for the course from talking to friends and reading on these boards...but we all seem to conveniently forget those times it didn't work out when the topic comes up, I guess because it doesn't make as good a story ;-).

Sheri

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-20-2005 - 4:20pm

Oh, I'd have to disagree with that in part. I think it takes BOTH...you need to evaluate someone's behavior OVER time as well as get to know them in depth. A certain amount of time has to pass just so you get the chance to observe their behavior and see if it is congruent with what they say.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Tue, 09-20-2005 - 4:37pm

Sorry Libra, I disagree (but it's okay to disagree).

I'm not new to OLD and like yourself I've too have met a man, slept with on the first date, and we ended up being in a 3 year relationship! Give me a break, I could count on one hand how many times I've just went with my "feelings" and it didn't lead to anything. If it was more of the norm, the majority of this board would be in relationship!

Not to take away from the situation, I'm truly glad that you met someone you connected with. You and I both know those types of connections don't happen everyday. Seemingly it would be ALL the more reason to pace it, revel in it and hope it's the REAL thing!!!

These posts could be discouraging (if not confusing) to newbies when we talk about not calling the guy, taking our time, etc. and then as soon as we get overly excited over a MAN, then it’s all about “living for the moment!” Get real!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Tue, 09-20-2005 - 4:45pm

IMO- Trust comes w/ time / and consistent actions. Words mean nothing until there are results to follow/facts/ Also revealing yourself comes along slowly as you build the foundation of trust. If this person we are dating is the "one" then we have the rest of our lives to spend /get to know eachother.

Again getting to know someone is putting words w/ actions and actions are built over time/ same As NW says seeing their "behavior" overtime, i guess ??