OLD: Guide To Profile Interpretation
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| Sun, 04-10-2005 - 4:42pm |
It's been covered before but I think deserves to be recompiled.
What are your favorite interpretations of Online Dating Cliche's?
You know --> what they say -- and what they mean.
1) "Make Me Laugh"
Interpretation: If Jerry Seinfeld doesn't show up for dinner you've got no chance with me.
2) "Friends First"
Interpretation: When I write you that goodbye email I'll feel a lot less guilty because I'll remind you that "after all my profile stated" that I was looking for friends.
3) "I have no kids but yours are welcomed"
Interpretation: ...until I hear what raising kids 24 hrs /day is really like.
4) "Finally ready to date"
Interpretation: I wonder if my former bf/gf will see this profile. Does my picture look hot? I bet my ex comes flying back once he/she gets wind of what's going on.
5) "Soulmate"
Interpretation: Hotties get some action first night after dinner - all others be prepared to work me like a second job for 6 months before you have any chance.
6) "My children come first"
Interpretation: I spend most nights visitng them in juvenile detention hall
7) "Open Minded"
Interpretation: I won't tell you my surprise until you've wasted 4 dates with me.
8) "No Games"
Interpretation: Expert game player looking to sandbag a less experienced player
9) "Players need not apply"
Interpretation: My FWB would be upset if I replaced him totally.

Need to add one more:
"No baggage, please" = virgins only, please.
"I like sports, motorcycles, and karate"
Real meaning: I read I should say those things on ivilliage LOL