OLD: Guide To Profile Interpretation

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
OLD: Guide To Profile Interpretation
2
Sun, 04-10-2005 - 4:42pm

It's been covered before but I think deserves to be recompiled.

What are your favorite interpretations of Online Dating Cliche's?

You know --> what they say -- and what they mean.

1) "Make Me Laugh"

Interpretation: If Jerry Seinfeld doesn't show up for dinner you've got no chance with me.

2) "Friends First"

Interpretation: When I write you that goodbye email I'll feel a lot less guilty because I'll remind you that "after all my profile stated" that I was looking for friends.

3) "I have no kids but yours are welcomed"

Interpretation: ...until I hear what raising kids 24 hrs /day is really like.

4) "Finally ready to date"

Interpretation: I wonder if my former bf/gf will see this profile. Does my picture look hot? I bet my ex comes flying back once he/she gets wind of what's going on.

5) "Soulmate"

Interpretation: Hotties get some action first night after dinner - all others be prepared to work me like a second job for 6 months before you have any chance.

6) "My children come first"

Interpretation: I spend most nights visitng them in juvenile detention hall

7) "Open Minded"

Interpretation: I won't tell you my surprise until you've wasted 4 dates with me.

8) "No Games"

Interpretation: Expert game player looking to sandbag a less experienced player

9) "Players need not apply"

Interpretation: My FWB would be upset if I replaced him totally.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Sun, 04-10-2005 - 5:32pm

Need to add one more:

"No baggage, please" = virgins only, please.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
Sun, 04-10-2005 - 6:35pm

"I like sports, motorcycles, and karate"

Real meaning: I read I should say those things on ivilliage LOL