OLD guy #5....
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OLD guy #5....
| Sat, 10-29-2005 - 5:09am |
I didn't take a break after all....
But it is okay really because I seem to be meeting people I take lightly somehow. And that is okay. I met this man who was ill, and will be sort of be ill the rest of his life. I like him well enough to spend a little time with him...
It will not be a love affair at all...but I can keep him company a time or two. Met him at a diner for coffee Thurs. evening, but I was hungry (as always) and we ate dinner. Will see him today for a walk or something....Will probably end it after today or soon so he isn't hurt more.
Sara

I wanted to answer the last person who asked why I would see someone I was not sure I had a connection with....but that seems self-explanatory to me....but then, everyone is different....I would want to see him to make sure that there was not a connection and to see if there could be a friendship of some kind, perhaps. Although those are tricky between men and women.
However, I can give you an update already. I saw him today. I was very hormonal today. He said the wrong thing. He was sort of kidding me fishing around to see if I wanted to get back with my estranged husband, and it hit the wrong nerve. I got upset and even cried. I ended that meeting as quickly as I could. We won't be talking again. First man who ever made me cry the second time I met him....although it wasn't really him, if you know what I mean. I am just sensitive with guilt over the separation. He (this guy I just said good luck to earlier today) even told me he thought it might be too early for me to date!! Sheesh! LOL @@
I agree with him. I know that's probably not gonna sit well with you but it's true. You are searching too hard for someone to fill a void within yourself and will even sleep with and throw yourself at a guy you admittedly say hates women and doesn't really respond well to you. This is not healthy, Sara. You deserve better for yourself. From yourself.
I thought you were gonna take a break - is that still a possibility?
(Disclaimer: I'm trying to help you, not hurt you.)
Thanks, fxr4me. Really, anybody can see I am not totally ready or maybe even, admittedly, close to ready...but I will get there one way or another....even if I am hurt inbetween. So far, I am okay. Even the guy who is somewhat hostile (*seems* anti-woman at times), that I cannot figure out- knows I am not ready. I even think he may be trying to protect himself from me. Did you ever think of that? Cause truth is, I could hurt him, in the end.
I am trying and that is all I can do.
Sara
"I even think he may be trying to protect himself from me. Did you ever think of that? Cause truth is, I could hurt him, in the end."
I never assume what the other person is thinking unless they actually speak it. Who knows what the guy is thinking? He could tell you one thing and do another. He could think one thing one day and change it the next.
I don't get that last sentence at all. How could you hurt him? In the end?
Sorry, but I really don't think I meant for you to exactly understand **exactly** how he could be hurt, but since you ask,....I meant that he could build feelings for me (if I continued to see him. He has never said he does not like me....etc., etc.)....I could wind up changing my mind about him after he has started to like me more. It happens. Right now, he just does not initiate meetings, I initated the last one....and he seems to be backing off. It may be because he doesn't like me enough...-OR-it may be because he knows I am trouble right now. He has said many times in the past it is soon (from my separation)....I am pretty sure (by our private conversations) that he thinks I should be *single* awhile and see how I feel in my own shoes....
Sara