OLD- more/earlier sex or not?
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 04-13-2007 - 3:02pm |
One thing that I am struck by on this board is how often the discussions rapidly veer away from being directly related to OLD and turn into more of a guy-girl relationship deal.
I mean, many of the things that come up could happen whether through OLD, or IRL, or whatever.
So I'm curious about everyone's beliefs or personal thoughts regarding sex and OLD.
Do OLD relationships tend towards more of an emphasis on sex? Do you think it happens earlier with people you meet doing OLD?
My own belief is that yes, there is a tad more emphasis on sex with OLD people as opposed to IRL (In Real Life). And I think that it does happen sooner.
I think that the internets (it's tubes!) have lowered some of our inhibitions like this. I might be wrong, but I think we find it easier to be a bit more daring online.
And I think that the somewhat easy, quick, and a little bit false intimacy that we can feel through email leads us to feeling more comfortable with someone, earlier than we might normally feel that way, and that leads to earlier sex.
But I could be wrong- this is just my own impression of what other people are doing. Personally I'm trying to move AWAY from this, as I've noticed that "making sexy time" (as Borat would say) sooner rather than later doesn't make relationships any better. (It doesn't make 'em worse, either, just a bit more complicated.)
Whaddya think? OLD, more sexytime or not?

Pages
LOL - interesting topic.
Well, as for me, I'd say in general OLD has not really had a significantly higher emphasis on sex.
Hey, Hjntiy! I loved the reference to Borat -- just saw the movie last weekend. I have not found OLD to contribute directly to earlier sexytime -- but I think it is definitely a factor in more opportunity for sex because of
I haven't had sex with anyone I've met through online dating so I guess it isnt' true for me. I should qualify that by saying the longest OLD relationship - I use the word loosely - was only 4 or 5 dates though. I was on one second date and he dropped me off and started to get out of the car to come in. I said goodnight and didn't extend the invitation. He zoomed away leaving a bit of rubber behind never to be heard from again. Perhaps he was expecting sex and was disappointed.
After all that, for me it is less likely because I don't find myself that intensely attracted to a man all that often. IRL I would already feel some attraction or I wouldn't have made the date in the first place. As the attraction is already there, it is more likely the relationship will develop physically.
I am often out of step with the rest though.
I don't feel like ther is more emphasis in sex with OLD, and the times there is more emphasis, it's b/c the people emphasizing it are mainly JUST looking for sex.
I also don't get all excited over a phone conversation anymore. The only thing I am looking for over the phone is to 1) see if the guy sounds cute, social, normal, not geeky, and 2) to set up a date or disconnect. I don't waste my time...
That said, I 'spose it's different for everyone and you just go with what is comfortable for you, but no, I do not move faster or slower sexually in OLD versus IRL.
Gal Blondie
I am often out of step with the rest though.
___________________
I don't know about that- I think that we get a lot of messages from society, via TV, via movies, via books. Those messages are not necessarily how people really ARE, ya know?
I mean, if you only watched TV, you'd think we're all sex-craven weirdoes... and we're not all like that. Some of us are, some of us are nuns, and most of us are in between. ;)
So you might be a lot more "in step" than you think.
Ay yi yi!
I wouldn't know, I haven't had a NON online date since I met my exhusband 18 years ago! After 13 years in a lousy marriage and no sex for a really long time, I would have had sex with the mailman so I don't think OLD was the factor.
But let's imagine my next door neighbor set me up with a coworker. I might be more inclined to be discreet or conservative in my behavior than I am dating a guy I met online who is unknown.
However, I have to say that I hit the jackpot with a great guy on my second OL date. It quickly became apparent this was a guy I could trust enough to sleep with him. I can honestly say that sex earlier or later wouldn't change the outcome of our relationship one bit.
You might be right about the easy, quick, and a little bit false intimacy that we can feel through email, but i think this is more a product of the pace of society in general than specific to OLD
Personally, I'm thrilled to be single in this era: I am educated about the dangers and have freedom of choice. As long as I know the difference between a hookup and an LTR, I can enjoy being a girl! I often wonder if the rather puritanical approach my ex and I had back in the 80's (sex is a big decision, sex means committment, sex is something to hide from elders, etc) tainted our ability to let our hair down.
"Sexy time"!
Exactly.
Pages