OLD Profiles

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2008
OLD Profiles
3
Thu, 06-13-2013 - 12:09am

Hi Im not new to OLD, I have been on POF/OKayCupid?now MAtch.com and Christian singles. I have found one relationship on POF and just ended another with a guy I met on okay cupid, although I thought he was  "the one" he doesnt feel the same about me, so here I go again.....anyway Im new to dating was married at 19 and had been married almost 27 years when my ex left me to live with another woman, almost 5 years ago, weve been divorced now for 3. Hes no longer in that relationship[ ha no suprise there...anyway but Ive been struggling with finding what IM looking for, I have definitley figures out what I want and dont want in a new relationship. I had one that tried to control me...Ive had one that ended up as a FWB...neither are not for me, this last one..hmmm well I fell hard for him and like I said thought he was the one...but he doesnt have the same feelings for me, well that hurts...and hurts alot..cause I thought my search was over. Anyway so now Im on Match.com, where it seems Ive been viewed over 1000 times, and only one person has actually emailed me....I have emailed maybe 6 and it never ends up being anyhting more than a Thankyou...apparently my pics they find interesting but my profile must be really bad....I tried not to make it long..its actually shorter than this is going to be, .Christian mingle I have emailed a few....not one has come back, IM a bit of an old fashioned gal and would rather have the man email me first, I dont know what the rules or ideas are , on this but please let me know. Any ideas of what works/doesnt work/ please feel free to let me know, any suggestions or ideas ....would be gretly appreciated!!!! MAS41

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: mas41
Thu, 06-13-2013 - 2:15pm

If you find out the secret, let me know.  I think as you get older it's just a lot harder to find guys on OLD.  IF I do my math right, you are just over 50 which seems to be the magic age, as in guys over 50 are a strange bunch--there are a big group that are just looking for the younger woman and then I've found that there are many that are just on there for years so you just wonder what they are looking for--do they get a lot of dates and just don't like anyone or just want to date a lot of women or are they just on line all the time and not actually meeting anyone?  who knows?  And yet the men complain about how hard it is to meet anyone.

I'd say have a friend look at your profile to see if anything stands out as bad.  I think you should have enough info there so that the guy can tell what you are like and what your'e interested in doing.  I finally gave up on match--now I don't feel so bad because it became like an unfunny joke to me that so many men could have viewed my profile and no one contacted me--I couldn't figure that out.  so I just gave up on OLD and figure if I am going to meet anyone it will have to be in person first.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2008
In reply to: mas41
Fri, 06-14-2013 - 1:16am

Hi Music, glad to hear from you...I used to be on here quit a bit, back on the  other boards, surviving an affair/divorce..and you all gave me some great advice. Im sorry to hear you havent had much luck with OLD, nice to know its not just me...lol, Im actually looking for someone younger...and that certainly doest help me much. I am 52, and just ended a 7 month relationship with a 42 year old, which wasnt by my choice, I fell head over heals, he had been seperated for a year and got his divorce final about a month after we started seeing each other. I know I never wanted to date someone who was seperated,  lesson learned, anyway he ended things because he was confused, the divorce hit him harder than he thought it would, and he never really dated while he was seperated, so I was the first one that he got into a relationship with..yeah lucky me. I just dont know how I could of read all the signals so wrong??  We hit it off so well, we connected on so many levels, he introduced me to his friends and family we all got along . we had so much in common, then 7 months later he says he wants to take a" step back". Not neccessarily to date but to figure out what he wants, so I am left  hanging. I really dont have my heart in finding anyone at the moment, but I dont want to end up alone either...So Im just going to work on myself...make myself happy, live my life and take it from there...Maybe the law of attraction may work...lol.Any ways sorry this turned out to be so long...thanks for your advice..Im sure I will see you again...on a message board  lol...Hey you live in Florida right??  Take Care !!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2013
In reply to: mas41
Sat, 06-15-2013 - 8:27am

In your profile, keep it brief because nobody likes to read a novel. Stick to positive things like what you like doing in your leisure time. Avoid negative things like what you don't want in a relationship.

That said, expand your options by meeting men outside OLD. Try meetups.com. Check out the website if you don't know about it. If you have a Home Depot or Lowes in your area, go to their weekend workshop where they teach you things. Plenty of men should be at those. Your county's extension group might hold classes on xeriscaping and growing butterly gardens, etc. Go to those classes. Join a co-ed sports group. Take cooking lessons. 

if you thought the ex was 'the one" before dating him for less than a year, you have to put a stop sign up in your brain. The first 3 months are a fairy tale. Reality starts in after that point and it takes a good year to even scratch the surface about who that person is. Take it day by day and enjoy the experience without projecting into the future. 

I know how frustrating finding a good man can be. I spent 2 and a half years after my divorce with frustrating, crazy dating experiences, but I kept on truckin' and finally met my future husband. It was a full time job finding a lifetime partner, but it was worth all the turmoil I had to go through. Good luck.