OLD slow right now?

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
OLD slow right now?
15
Thu, 02-04-2010 - 8:37am

For those of you with an active profile: are things really S-L-O-W right now for you? I feel like the comedian tapping the mike asking, "Is this thing on?"

I even activated my profile on POF recently. I already have one on Match. Of course, this is the beginning of my THIRD YEAR online, so I guess I've met every man now in my area.

Sigh.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2001
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 8:17pm

Yup, slug-slow and it ain't pretty.


The proof is the lack of scintillating stories on these boards, dontcha think? I'm guilty. I haven't posted much. (Today I finally posted on Dating Game, but only because I was pis%ed off.)


Hey, anyone out there who's interested can download my book Middle Age Confidential: My Life as a Date, for the rest of the month free, free, frrr-eee.


Let me know if I've captured the Internet experience--it's fiction. Well, sort of.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2007
Tue, 02-09-2010 - 5:06pm
Or might these men just be in need of spine donors? Or lacking b*lls??? Sorry, I can't help but wonder!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Sun, 02-07-2010 - 11:23am

Last week a guy emailed me going on and on about what a great profile I had, how much we had in common, maybe something really good could come out of this. Really nice, very sweet email.

Here's the kicker...I had emailed HIM about a year ago, we bantered back and forth a bit, we exchanged numbers and I never heard from him again.

The only thing that I changed in my profile from then to now was my picture.

So he has continued to email me, very funny, very interesting, I gave him my number (again...) on Friday, here it is Sunday...

Men are weird.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2008
Sun, 02-07-2010 - 2:20am

I don't find that at all! At 49, I think there are plenty of available men around my age. I get emails all the time. Just met a guy for the 2nd time tonight, he's 49 too. He came out to a party I was helping with. Invited me over for the Superbowl game tomorrow. Woo Hoo! We are going skiing next Friday.

It might just be what type of person you are looking for. I'm quite social and like to get out, matter of fact after the party tonight, when my new guy left, I had three other guys, all single, come over and introduce themselves and have a chat. Seems a lot of people in my area are divorcing in their 40's so they're everywhere! I'm having fun :)

Violet

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2008
Sun, 02-07-2010 - 1:50am
This is the question. Why was it that it was so easy to make friends M/F under 35? And so difficult Over 35?
xvra
Hornycomments.com for myspace adult comments
Avatar for iladyja
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 02-05-2010 - 10:29pm

Your comments made me laugh.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2008
Fri, 02-05-2010 - 9:48pm

I look at OLD a lot like you do.

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Fri, 02-05-2010 - 12:25pm

You know, this is something I have thought about a lot. I know there is the "candy store" or "catalog" aspect of OLD, but are we not meeting the "right" man because he just hasn't crossed our path? I hesitate blaming the easy access of OLD for men not trying as hard.

I feel that when you and a man are right for each other and hit it off, the relationship unfolds pretty effortlessly. So, until you meet the "right" one, you have a lot of unsatisfactory dates, or first meets. And, you have a lot of "going back to the well" on both sides. I truly think there are sincere men online, and I think they are just as disappointed when things don't work out. Of course, there are players, too, but they are everywhere, and you don't have to play their game. And of course there are lazy men, but you can find them everywhere too. But those aren't the ones you want, regardless of how you meet.

OLD isn't perfect, but it's about the only way I meet men, so I'm not ready to throw in the towel. I have taken breaks from it for sure. A therapist once said to look at it this way: your paths just haven't crossed yet. And this was long before OLD.

I also have a theory as to why you don't hear back from men you contact online. (BTW, I never contact first, but that's just me.) But think of it this way: meeting a stranger is SO AWKWARD, that I, for one, don't have the energy to meet lots and lots of men, especially if I feel kind of iffy about him. . Plus, I just HATE having to tell someone we're not a match. I find it excruciating and exhausting. So for me, I just don't respond to someone that I don't feel I have enough in common with, or for other things I find unappealing about him. It doesn't mean he's not right for someone, he's just not right for me. Am I being a "perfectionist"? I don't think so. So, perhaps the men that don't write back feel the same way I do. And of course, it could be for other reasons too.

Anyway, just my thoughts. I could be totally wrong—about everything!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 02-05-2010 - 11:27am
I guess they haven't figured out that no one is perfect, even them. I do think this is the pitfall of OLD. Years ago, you actually had to work to even meet someone, so even if you met in a bar, it was only going to be one person a night that you gave your number to (or got a number from) and aside from the one night stands, if a guy really wanted to date someone, he'd have to convince her to giver her number, call her, actually go to her house to pick her up for a date, spend money, etc. So after all that, I think that guys were more likely not to bail right away, knowing that it would be hard to meet someone else, go through all that again, etc. Now, you say department store, I say it's like shopping through the Victoria's Secret catalog, except instead of buying the lingerie, it's like buying or at least picking out the model. It just seems too easy--if you don't like the first woman, just go back on line & email someone else. Plus I think some people just get into this mode, even if they like someone, of worrying that someone else better is out there. It's like if you bought a car, some people can just be satisfied by having the new car, others keep worrying if they bought the right model, could they have gotten a better deal, etc.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2007
Fri, 02-05-2010 - 11:24am

To tell you the truth, I'll be turning the big 5-0 on Sunday and am viewing this as the perfect time to swear off OLD for good.


I've had a few messages from men on POF, most of whom I share little in common, have no pictures and still expect me to reply even after I request to see a pic in my profile. Apparently these guys can't read or are just too lazy to do so. Here is an example of a message I've received:


hi
i like your profile. you look very attractife i love to know you i jast move to

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