Older Men.. not for me...
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 05-04-2005 - 2:00am |
I'm 36 years old. I've been told twice the last week that I look 28. (ie Other person:" How old are you? 28?" Me: "Try almost 10 years older") The oldest man I have dated was born in 1964. We broke up shortly before his 30th birthday. The youngest man I have dated was born in 1974.
A 47 year old man emailed me on American Singles. Granted I am not attracted to older men but his email was funny so I replied. I think pressure from friends accusing me of being too "picky" had something to do with that. After a few emails he asked to meet me. He was nice and funny and a great conversationalist but even though he is only 11 years older than I am, I felt like I was out with my dad. He was playing with my hair and all I could think of was "if he tries to kiss me, I will gag." I feel very shallow saying this but I just could not have done it. I feel icky and I don't know why. He did make one or two midly suggestive remarks that from a guy my age would have been cute. I think I'm going to take a shower. Obviously, I am not Electra. So much for the theory that women who are raised by single moms are looking for a daddy substitute! I am certainly not.
He kept telling me how pretty I was and asked to see me again. I said I was booked for the entire month of May. Which is not a total lie. I have to catch up with my friends who I have not seen thanks to grad school. However, if I had been interested I could have squeezed him in. Other than this Friday for a late Cinco de Mayo get together and spending Mother's Day with my mom I have no set plans.
I maybe shallow but I am glad I did it - I can at least say I tried.
Edited 5/4/2005 2:16 am ET ET by annonymoss

Pages
>>I find it much easier to reject someone, politely, by email. Though these days I find everything easier by email.<<
Well, judging from some of the messages we see posted here occasionally, you can have entire relationships with people via email and the computer.
You can meet people, fall in love, get jealous, have a fight, and break up with them- all without the messy complication of ever having to actually MEET someone in person!
So you're in luck. I urge you to not bother ever actually meeting anyone in person again; that way you won't have to deal with any of those potentially embarrassing moments in person.
Okay, that's harsh, especially since you at least DO tell someone the truth.
But in your example... what was harmed by ExcruciatingCoffeeDateGuy asking you the next day if you'd changed your mind? Nothing.
I just can't understand why people can't draw a line between their own feelings, and taking on responsibility for others' feelings. If you've got to reject someone, that's too darned bad, but it's not like it's YOUR fault that they feel bad.
They're a grownup. They should darn well know that dating involves rejection.
"What, honesty instead of lying?"
But she WASN'T lying; it was true that she was busy.
<>
Exactly my thought :)
After reading through this whole string of messages, I want to say that I agree with Linda (1sttammy-message 23) that this whole discussion is mainly about AGE AND GETTING OLDER. So listen up, everybody, I (age 67--68 in October) am here to tell you that OLD AGE CAN BE THE NEATEST PERIOD OF YOUR LIFE! Believe it and keep doing those exercises because it's true. The good life actually continues long after youth has faded!
Personally, I'm not bad looking (men have never keeled over at the sight of me either), and I do exercises, take a bath every day, put on a little makeup, and try not to be a blight on the landscape when I do go out in public. BUT I do not look young. And everyone of us on this board needs to help fight all of the misconceptions that are so prevalent in this country about getting older. One more time let me say: Right now I'm having more fun than I ever had when I was young! I have enough money to live on (not a lot, but it's okay) and I have way more freedom than when I was working. I'm definitely enjoying life way more than I did when I was younger (and this is coming from a person who is still very introverted).
Since right after Christmas, I have been dating a very neat old rancher (age 74) who lives about 70 miles from me and whom I met online. He still runs his ranch (he has help, but it's still a 24/7 thing) and doesn't have much time, so we only see each other about every two weeks or so, but we email each other a lot and have written about some pretty interesting topics (the Myers-Briggs personality types for one thing), and we're both deep thinkers. So for us the email thing seems to be working fairly well. He is definitely interested in sex, but I'm not to that point yet. Also, I'm pretty certain that he isn't seeing/writing anyone else; I know I'm not. Finally, on our first date, he touched one of my earrings, and it did not gross me out.
So my final advice to all of you good folks on this board (in case you didn't know it, when you pass the age of 60, you get to give everybody else advice) is to WORK AT GETTING OVER THE IDEA THAT GETTING OLDER IS A TERRIBLE THING! BEING OLD CAN BE GREAT!! Just take my word for it. An old lady tea drinker from the midwestern prairie
Hi Tea4all,
Great post! Yes we are all getting older and there is no way of changing that! My parents are in their mid 60's and are having a great time being retired. I see many people their ages and older that are quite happy with their lives. I am glad to hear you are happy with yours also. And good luck with your rancher!
Being single for these past 2 years has been a new challenge for me to adapt to (was married 25 years), and there have been times I wished I was 10 years younger (45 now) as men my age seldom date women in their age bracket and usually go for the younger honeys. But I am proud of the woman that I am and know that I do appeal to men of many ages.
I am dating a guy 8 yrs younger than I am who is great and has so many good qualities. At first I wasn't open to dating someone younger than myself, but luckily I changed my mind or I would have overlooked my guy's first wink! We are going into our 4th month now and have been exclusive, and I have no idea where this is going, but for now I am enjoying all that life has offered me.
We are entitled to our own preferences in the opposite sex and don't understand why people have to question other's opinions on their personal preferences.
Sunshine
tea4all....
Pianoguy agrees with k.i.t.b. 100%!!!
Your post was excellent.
I totally agree, tea.
I don't see anything wrong with wanting to date men within your desirable age range--those that you consider belonging to your peer group. I just think it is a terrible shame that the American culture is so hung up in a negative way on the whole idea of aging and getting older to the point that half the population (or so it seems) feels a need to say that they look younger than their actual ages. Maybe these people really do look younger, and maybe they don't, but it's too bad the age thing is of such overwhelming importance to many Americans.
Also, I think it is too bad that a number of men (I have concluded this from reading posts on the Online Dating Board) are compelled to pursue younger women online who are turned off by the age difference between them. One good thing though, I think the majority of older men are looking at women online who are not that much younger than they are, and a lot of the old guys are even willing to get together with women who are several years older than they are. Personally, I think the old guys who have made peace with their actual ages are way more mature, interesting, and stable than the ones who seemed compelled to pursue much younger women.
Pages