omg, i stood him up

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
omg, i stood him up
11
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 8:28pm

Met a somewhat decent seeming man on CL - in strictly platonic. He wasn't someone I'd be interested in dating, but whatever. I did not ask him age. Bad idea. He said he was in his second year of residency, so I assumed he was in my age range.

Well, I was the second to the restaurant and imagine my surprise when I see that not only does he NOT look like his picture, but that he is at LEAST 50 years old. So I stood there, horrified at having dinner with someone older than my father and really wanted to bolt.

And then -

My alarm company made the decision for me. They were gracious enough to call me on my cell phone to tell me my alarm was going off. Of course I had to go home.

Am I awful for ditching him? I mean, it wasn't my fault, but I hate to think what would have happened if my phone hadn't rang.







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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 9:04pm

I hope you at least told him that you were leaving and why, but it's not clear from your post whether you did or not? If you at least did that, then no, you're not awful ;-).

This just reinforces why I only will meet people for coffee these days!!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2005
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 12:23pm

If you truly ditched him, and did not even give a token regret for having to leave, then I believe you do not have room to complain if someone stands you up. No matter what he looked like.

The golden rule applies.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 1:27pm

The problem was, I got a really creepy vibe from the entire thing. What kind of 50-something year old wants to meet somene in her mid-twenties? It just creeped me out. I know we're both adults, but there was just something about it that...

And the other thing I didn't mention in my first post - he barely spoke English. His emails were very well composed, but I heard him talking to the hostess, and it was bad. How do you even expect that?







Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 2:32pm

No matter how creepy he or the situation seemed, it's just basic courtesy to let someone know you're not going to follow through with your meeting. It would be one thing if your safety were at risk, but in a public place, it doesn't sound like that was the case.

And I don't understand what him speaking good English has to do with you showing good manners, or not.

So you just left, without saying anything, is that right? I hope you *at least* sent him an email apologizing!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 3:54pm

So I'm with everyone else -

heather 5-18-10
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 6:20pm

I did speak to him - I told him my alarm was going off and I had to run.

Icky. Icky.







Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 8:56pm

Oh, ok, good, I'm glad that you did at least let him know you were leaving rather than just letting him sit there (which I didn't *think* you would do, but it was really not clear from your posts!).

Yeah...live and learn. Next time I would imagine you'll probably be sure to ask the guy's age, talk on the phone first, and meet for coffee only ;-).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 9:03pm

See, I NEVER talk on the phone first. I am not good on the phone AT ALL, and prefer to skip it. Phone converstions honestly make me sound like Rain Man.

Anyway - yeah, dating sucks. Even when it's not dating.







iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 11:46am
I dont like phone conversations AT ALL w/o knowing someone. I prefer Email ... meet ... THEN phone if theres a spark. I HATE when an on line guy gives me his #. I dont call it.lol
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Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 3:26pm
I'm the same way...I hate talking on the phone before meeting in person. I don't know why that is, but it's just my personal preference.

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