One month too long to wait?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
One month too long to wait?
4
Sun, 11-26-2006 - 5:08pm

Hi all!

I'm looking for some opinions. :) In general, they say that you should meet someone you've connected with on an online dating site ASAP so that expectations aren't made, etc. Yet at the same time, they say to move very slow when you've met someone you may be interested in.

I'm on match.com and a guy and I have sent three emails to eachother. I'd like to get together with him, but not until after Christmas. One because I want to find out a little more about him. Two because I've had poor net experiences in the past from moving to fast and thirdly because I'm flying home for Christmas and have a lot going on between now and then.

We haven't discussed meeting yet. Any thoughts will be appreciated! :)

Thank you!

Pink

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2006
Sun, 11-26-2006 - 5:37pm
I was thinking about Christmas today and how hard it will be to date during such a busy time. Maybe you could just meet for coffee or something and if things go well, just explain to him that you will be busy until after Christmas. If he's a decent guy he will understand, and he probably has his own obligations. I'm a firm believer in meant to be, so if he's in so much of a hurry that he can't wait a few weeks, then he's probably not someone who would be around for the long haul anyway.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 11-26-2006 - 6:22pm

Yes, I think it's too long to wait, unless you're not planning on talking much between now and when you meet. It's too easy to build up unrealistic expectations otherwise and to get a sense that you "know" the person, when you don't. So if you can't even take time to meet for coffee until after Christmas, then I would space out your emails and/or phone calls so that you don't get that false sense of intimacy before you meet.

Meeting in person sooner rather than later has nothing to do with whether you move slowly once you meet. Just because you meet in person doesn't mean that you are going to jump with both feet right into a relationship with that person.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2006
Sun, 11-26-2006 - 9:52pm
Sheri your suggestion is excellent! The OP should follow you suggestion as what you descirbe has been my same experience.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 7:51pm

Thank you for your input! :) I appreciate it!

Pink