One more go 'round...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
One more go 'round...
7
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 9:03pm

Well, here I go again! lol I just got an e-mail the other day from a guy that had winked at me on Match a month or 2 ago. He was really cute, and I really liked what he had to say in his profile. We had e-mailed a few times, and he said he would call me, b/c he was in Georgia with the National Guard for a month, but he never did, so I just chalked it up to an "oh, well" and moved on.

Well, we hooked up again, and he comes home Monday. He said he liked the pics I sent him, so I sent him a casual e-mail that said maybe we could get together on IM next week after I got back from vacation.

Well, for some reason, I'm really hesitant about this. I'm just so used to chatting with a guy for a couple of weeks, then meeting him and having no chemistry. That's what's happened with the last 4 guys I've chatted with, but I liked this guys profile more than any of theirs, so I really want to have chemistry with this one. So I think I'm hesitant to meet him in person and "break the spell", you know?

I usually like to meet people fairly soon, b/c you can get along really well through e-mail, but have no chemistry, so it's best to not get your hopes up over a long period of time...so I don't really know what to do on this one...

Any comments?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 9:16pm

Meet him ASAP. I don't understand the point of chatting further with this guy before meeting. Get it overwith...if there's no chemistry, there's no chemistry, but at least you'll know!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 9:33pm
I guess I'm just getting tired of all the one-date things over and over again, spending a few hours talking about all the same things with all these different guys. I feel like a broken record, like I'm going on endless job interviews. I just want to spend some more time getting to know someone, move forward...and not have it end so quickly. It could be just postponing the inevitable (the meeting with no chemistry), but at least it won't seem like the movie Groundhog Day, where every day is exactly the same...
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2004
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 9:57pm

<<>> I get what you are saying.

The idea that came to my head when i read your post was perhaps, if you get the opportunity to help plan that first meet is do the 1 hour "coffee" type date and if you are hitting it off well...have a back up plan in your pocket (suggest it only if you are digging him) to go do something "fun" i.e. miniature golf (or a movie or something that you like if that sounds dorky lol) to break up the "interview" and be able to just laugh and have fun and relax..ya know like that silly show Blind Date (love the captions tho lol)...interactive but not so seriously disecting of who you are all on the first date. (girl i know what you are talking about...i almost have a script now to some of the answers to questions) LOL

i hope you meeeeeeeeeeeet him soon =)
Lizzie

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 10:12pm

I hear ya! There were a couple points in my dating life when I was going on frequent first meets, and I remember complaining to my friends that I felt like I should just print up a "FAQ about Sheri" and hand it to the guys, LOL! What helped was to reduce the number of first meets from 3-4 week to 1-2 max...and limiting them to 1 hour or so coffee dates.

But, unless you go on first meets, you can't get to that 2nd and 3rd date with anyone, so it's unfortunately a necessary evil.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 09-09-2005 - 10:49pm

wow...that many a week? I've only met 4 in person in the last 3 months, and that seems like it's getting routine to me.

I think maybe it's because 3 of those 4 contacted me first, and I'm learning that I have an issue with that...I've seen so many guys profiles, that if I really want to get to know them, I get in touch first. So far, those 3 haven't interested me enough to e-mail them when I first see their profiles, but I've been trying to "broaden my horizons" and accept a date with them to see what could happen (just like bklynchik's Challenge!).

That's why I'm hoping to hold on to this one a little longer, to try to develop a more substantial friendship before meeting, because I liked his profile so much, and think he's just adorable. I want to go into it thinking that it has potential, which might give it a little more of a shot.

Please oh please oh please...send me good luck fairy dust on this one! lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2004
Sat, 09-10-2005 - 1:46pm

I know EXACTLY how you feel!

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Sat, 09-10-2005 - 1:55pm

LOl love that Sherri, like coming to see a new house, fact sheet or just hand them your dating resume...

w/ references. HA!!!

Yes I hate first phone calls really...