Online dating??

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Online dating??
23
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 3:58pm
Can anyone let me know what to expect with online dating? I am nervous, skeptical and a little embarrassed. I don't know exactly how it works and how to make the most of it. I also don't know if it works. Please shed some light or any type of advice would be wonderful!
Thanks!!
Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 5:36pm
I only saw one of your pics because it appears that the other one can't be seen by a non-subscriber. I think you're really cute so you should have no trouble getting dates. Online dating, in my opinion, is just like dating in the real world. Use your head, follow your heart, do what feels right to you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 6:09pm

OK - since the whole point of a profile is to make ourselves shine and stand out, I'm going to have a heavy hand here. Please don't be offended, and feel free to ignore anything I've said:

<<>>

Get rid of "My friends say". Actually - get rid of the whole first sentence. It doesn't say anything about who you are, unless your friends actually KNOW Jennifer Aniston and can really compare you to her. If it's just looks that are similar, you have a cute picture on your profile (not a member anymore, can't view your other pics) and a guy can determine for himself if he likes your looks.

"I am laid back and always ready to try new things."

Laid back indicates couch potato, or doormat. I wouldn't use it. What new things are you ready to try? You need to be specific, because that could mean a menage a trois or it could mean cliff diving.

"I look at life as an adventure."

Axe it. It's in 503,297 other profiles.

"I love all types of music."

Really? Do you LOVE twee, ska, acid rock, goth, classical, groove, surf rock, funk, hip hop, rap and oldies? Be more specific, or list your top 5 favorite cd's. Unless you really do love ALL types of music. Remember, you are trying to make it clear who you are and what kind of person you want to attract! So far, you're gonna get hit on by a goth who wants to have group sex and has a Jennifer Aniston fetish. ;)

"Originally from Asheville, N.C., I love the mountains."

What do you love about the mountains? Hiking in them? Wildlife or birdwatching? Drawing or painting them?

"Atlanta is fun and exciting, but I often wish I was back home."

Axe the homesick part. Try "Atlanta is fun and exciting, and I particularly like xxxxx."

"I am very close to my family and friends. Both play a huge role in my life."

Axe it. It's in 3,797,823 profiles. Try something more specific..."When I go home for a visit, I love reconnecting with my family over margaritas and gin rummy."

"The idea of jumping into a serious relationship scares me, I prefer a foundation of friendship first."

And the guys are thinking "Allllriiiiggght - I can get laid without worrying about a serious relationship". Try something along the lines of "At this time, I'm not looking for a serious, committed relationship, but want to explore Atlanta while making new friends".

Sorry if I was too harsh....but take your time and re-write so that you shine. You're too cute to have such a bland profile!


Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 6:12pm
I would add to that constructive critique removing the part where you say you love to laugh. Who doesn't love to laugh? Also, I'm not so sure about including the part about oral hygiene being important to you ...
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 6:25pm
I took the oral hygiene thing as a joke...ooops. LOL


Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 6:31pm
Maybe it was? I don't know, it just seemed a little funny. Better to take it out I think.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 6:51pm
Oh wow! Ya'll rock The oral hygiene thing is very true, but I do like to make jokes about it. I work in the dental field, so I really have a passion for a good floss and brush. I like the notes you made on my profile!! I am excited to make some changes, just nervous about it. I really have just a wide variety of interests it is hard to narrow down on the specifics. I also don't exactly know how to handle some of this. Since about five today I have had 6 people wink at me and 2 emails. One guy I swear wrote a book. Seriously, what is up with all this and should i send the no thanks email to those i am not interested in?
Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 7:02pm

People feel differently about the no, thanks email. Some people think they're awful. I personally think they're ok, and I sent them when I was on Match. Did you just put up your ad today? If so, prepare to be bombarded with replies. Since you're in a city and you're young and pretty, I wouldn't be surprised if you get a couple of hundred responses in your first month. Just relax. They won't disappear if you don't respond immediately. Take your time and only respond to the ones you think you would really like to meet.

Feel free to email me if you have more questions. You can mail me through my profile.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 7:21pm

I would not send the no thanks email, because as I said earlier in this thread, the one Match sends out is really condescending.

If you want to write your own, then that would be better, but personally I wouldn't. I hate getting them, even if they are nice, so I don't send them. And be aware that some people will try to ARGUE with you about WHY you're not interested in them, blah, blah, blah...another reason not to do it. Or if you do, block them right away so you don't get the hate mail back ;-).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 7:28pm
Thanks. This one guy asked me about dating someone older than my profile outlined. He asked if he could send pictures. I said sure, and he isn't ugly, just not my type. I have no idea how to let him down. I hate breaking up with someone, so this kind of feels like it. I really don't want to hurt feelings!
Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 7:51pm

I understand, but you've never even met him! You don't know anything at all about him! You could simply write back and say, Thank you very much for responding to my profile, but I really would prefer not to date someone older than 34, or whatever your age limit is. Guys are used to the rejection. Online dating is a jungle. I've heard a lot of men complain that most women don't even respond to their emails, so if you're kind enough to respond and send a polite "I'm not interested, sorry" email he'll appreciate it.

You'll get used to it. I promise!