Online dating and being 50

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2009
Online dating and being 50
8
Sun, 02-21-2010 - 8:20am
Posted on Match two weeks ago. At first all I got were scammers from other states, good looking men that were using fake photos, etc. Now that has stopped. I am 50 and thought Match would have the best dating pool for men with lots of members and I live in a largely populated area. I so far, have absolutely nothing going on! From the very few winks I have gotten just a few winks, out of those two seemed okay, the rest were unsuitable and far away and had nothing in common with me. So I shoot a quick email to them. They return it a day later then they are gone. I searched myself and found 20 or so men that had been online in the last 24 hours and had profiles that looked nice, just average guys with some education. I will date five years younger or 8 years older. These guys had posted age ranges with my age listed. I am still attractive and have aged well and I am educated too and live a healthy life style, about a size 10. Out of my emails and winks I have sent a lot
, I have gotten nothing, absolutely nothing. It's like I don't exist. I get a few automatic turn down emails thanking me. Since I've turned 50, the whole ball game has changed. Is it that men in my age group will only date younger women now? I feel left out of the whole game. I think it will take time and it's still winter now but I've never in my life had this happen before and it's really disappointing and it hurts! I also have three current photos posted.
Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Sun, 02-21-2010 - 1:37pm

Welcome to the wacky world of OLD! Is this your first time?

First let me just say, 2 weeks isn't very long. Give it time. Please don't take anything personally...I know it's hard not to. Unfortunately, you will need to grow a thick skin with OLD.

I'm 55, and like you, feel I'm still attractive, have aged well, educated, etc. This will be my third year doing OLD! I have taken some breaks along the way. I will say that things have slowed down, but I still get contacted. I have not met anyone yet who turned into a relationship, but I have certainly dated. But I'm not giving up because I don't meet very many men my age in my medium-sized city. I do get out and do other things of course, not just OLD.

I don't believe that men our age only want younger women, I really don't. Well, OK they might WANT a younger woman, but that doesn't mean they'll get one. I have heard from quite a few YOUNGER men which surprised me.

I say give it time. If things still aren't working for you, you might want to take a look at your profile and your photos. Hint: the photos are the most important thing, unfortunately. Make them the best that they can be.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-21-2010 - 4:25pm

You need a really thick skin to do OLD, you can't take it personally if you're going to do it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
Mon, 02-22-2010 - 6:49am

I agree with the other posters.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2009
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 7:52am
Yes, I do agree two weeks isn't long and it's winter, I am hoping when spring comes along human nature will kick in. I was thinking about getting some professional photos taken, I guess they cost around 100.00 for online dating shots. Most people guess me in my early 40's but when you turn 50, many men have their cut off ages at 49, yet they are older than me. As for younger men, I'd go somewhat younger but I don't want to be a cougar. My ex married someone that could be his daughter. I think he's miserable now, which is fine with me. Three men and I were corresponding, all three of them ghosted, it was just small talk, nothing intrusive etc. The one that I was most interested in, I finally wrote back and wished him luck, then he shoots me his phone number, and says he doesn't like to email. I figure if he was really interested, he would have continued emailing me, just a couple sentences.
Yes, being 50 changes a lot. I did try EHarmony for 3 months, it was worse. I only had two dates in three months. The rest of my contacts, which were far and few between weren't suitable for me. POF I have tried but not for long periods of time. Every time I look on there, the same men have been on there forever, but I will try again once spring rolls around, I think more men will join.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 11:11am
For some reason, in the past few years, I think "older women" have become more appealing to men. I'm now in my 30's. My last 2 boyfriends were in their 20's. Apparently, I still look like I'm in my 20's. (I think I look my age; both men AND women I meet tell me otherwise! LOL). Anyway, a good guy friend of mine who is in his late 30's just started dating a woman who is in her mid-40's. One of my best friends is in her 40's and is dating a man who is in his 30's. And yet another guy in his 20's seems to have taken a bit of a shine to me, though it's a brand-new acquaintance, so I'm just trying to take it for what it is. Not ready to bring myself to make an OLD profile again yet. Haven't done that in several years (my past 2 relationships were with men I met in "real life"). But yeah, it seems men are becoming more interested in older women these days.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2007
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 12:03pm


Yes, that is what I suspect about turning 50. I just celebrated that birthday and am pretty much giving up on OLD. As for professional photos, I have what I and others consider very good

Avatar for iladyja
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 6:15pm

Re OLD and being 50 or over.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
Fri, 02-26-2010 - 7:00am

This online dating is something else.